Christian fiction; Medical fiction; Scotland -- Fiction; Surgeons -- Fiction; Wingfold, Thomas (Fictitious character) -- Fiction
"No, no!" returned the minister; "it is true, every word of it. You
shall see the lawyers' letter. Dorothy has it, I think. My uncle was an
ironmonger in a country town, got on, and bought a little bit of land in
which he found iron. I knew he was flourishing, but he was a churchman
and a terrible Tory, and I never dreamed he would remember me. There had
been no communication between our family and his for many years. He must
have fancied me still a flourishing London minister, with a rich wife!
If he had had a suspicion of how sorely I needed a few pounds, I can not
believe he would have left me a farthing. He did not save his money to
waste it on bread and cheese, I can fancy him saying."
Although a look almost of despair kept coming and going upon his face,
he lay so still, and spoke so quietly and collectedly, that Wingfold
began to wonder whether there might not be some fact in his statement.
He did not well know what to say.
"When I heard the news from Dorothy--she read the letter first," Mr.
Drake went on, "--old fool that I was I was filled with such delight
that, although I could not have said whether I believed or not, the very
idea of the thing made me weep. Alas! Mr. Wingfold, I have had visions
of God in which the whole world would not have seemed worth a salt tear!
And now!--I jumped out of bed, and hurried on my clothes, but by the
time I came to kneel at my bedside, God was away. I could not speak a
word to Him! I had lost all the trouble that kept me crying after Him
like a little child at his mother's heels, the bond was broken and He
was out of sight. I tried to be thankful, but my heart was so full of
the money, it lay like a stuffed bag. But I dared not go even to my
study till I had prayed. I tramped up and down this little room,
thinking more about paying my butcher's bill than any thing else. I
would give him a silver snuff-box; but as to God and His goodness my
heart felt like a stone; I _could not_ lift it up. All at once I saw how
it was: He had heard my prayers in anger! Mr. Wingfold, the Lord has
sent me this money as He sent the quails to the Israelites: while it was
yet, as it were, between my teeth, He smote me with hardness of heart. O
my God! how shall I live in the world with a hundred thousand pounds
instead of my Father in heaven! If it were only that He had hidden His
face, I should be able to pray somehow! He has given me over to the
Mammon I was worshiping! Hypocrite that I am! how often have I not
pointed out to my people, while yet I dwelt in the land of Goshen, that
to fear poverty was the same thing as to love money, for that both came
of lack of faith in the living God! Therefore has He taken from me the
light of His countenance, which yet, Mr. Wingfold, with all my sins and
shortcomings, yea, and my hypocrisy, is the all in all to me!"
He looked the curate in the face with such wild eyes as convinced him
that, even if perfectly sane at present, he was in no small danger of
losing his reason.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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