Paul Gosslett's Confessions in Love, Law, and The Civil ServiceLever, Charles
General
Paul Gosslett's Confessions in Love, Law, and The Civil Service
Lever, Charles
Fiction
“I don't like that Mr. Bracken, sir,” Deechworth would say; “he ain't
here for no good, you'll see, sir;” and it is not improbable that I
should have perfectly agreed with this opinion if I had ever troubled
my head about him at all, but the fact was my mind was very differently
occupied. All Scotland Yard and Sir Richard himself might have been
domiciled at the establishment without their ever giving me a moment of
uneasy reflection.
Whether Mrs. Dacre's scruples were those of prudery or cowardice,
whether she dreaded me as a companion or feared me as a coachman, I
cannot say; but she constantly put off our intended drive, and though
occasionally the few words in which she made her apologies set my heart
half wild with delight, simply because I pleased to read them in a sense
of my own invention, yet I grew feverish and uneasy at these delays. At
last there came the one line in pencil, “I have made up my mind I will
go with you to-morrow evening.” It is in no extravagance or mock rapture
I say it, but in plain homely truth, I would not have changed that scrap
of paper for a check of ten thousand on Coutts.
It was my habit to lay all the little notes I received from her before
me on my writing-table, and as I passed them under review, to weave out
for myself a story of the progress of my love. The servants who waited
on me, and who alone entered my study, were foreigners, and ignorant
of English, so that I could permit myself this indulgence without
fear. Now, on the afternoon on which I had received the latest of
her despatches, I sauntered out into the wood to be alone with my own
thoughts, unmolested and undisturbed. I wandered on for hours, too happy
to count the time, and too deeply lost in my imaginings to remember
anything but my own fancies. What was to come of this strange imbroglio
in which I now stood; how was Fate about to deal with me? I had clearly
arrived at a point where the roads led right and left Which was I to
take, and which was the right one?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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