In the room next to me lived a law-writer and his wife. They were very
old and miserably poor. The fault was none of theirs. Despite copy-books
maxims, there is in this world such a thing as ill-luck-persistent,
monotonous, that gradually wears away all power of resistance. I
learned from them their history: it was hopelessly simple, hopelessly
uninstructive. He had been a schoolmaster, she a pupil teacher; they had
married young, and for a while the world had smiled upon them. Then came
illness, attacking them both: nothing out of which any moral could be
deduced, a mere case of bad drains resulting in typhoid fever. They had
started again, saddled by debt, and after years of effort had succeeded
in clearing themselves, only to fall again, this time in helping a
friend. Nor was it even a case of folly: a poor man who had helped them
in their trouble, hardly could they have done otherwise without proving
themselves ungrateful. And so on, a tedious tale, commonplace, trivial.
Now listless, patient, hard working, they had arrived at an animal-like
indifference to their fate, content so long as they could obtain the
bare necessities of existence, passive when these were not forthcoming,
their interest in life limited to the one luxury of the poor--an
occasional glass of beer or spirits. Often days would go by without
his obtaining any work, and then they would more or less starve. Law
documents are generally given out to such men in the evening, to be
returned finished the next morning. Waking in the night, I would hear
through the thin wooden partition that divided our rooms the even
scratching of his pen.
Thus cheek by jowl we worked, I my side of the screen, he his: youth and
age, hope and realisation.
Out of him my fears fashioned a vision of the future. Past his door I
would slink on tiptoe, dread meeting him upon the stairs. Once had not
he said to himself: “The world's mine oyster?” May not the voices of the
night have proclaimed him also king? Might I not be but an idle dreamer,
mistaking desire for power? Would not the world prove stronger than I?
At such times I would see my life before me: the clerkship at thirty
shillings a week rising by slow instalments, it may be, to one hundred
and fifty a year; the four-roomed house at Brixton; the girl wife,
pretty, perhaps, but sinking so soon into the slatternly woman; the
squalling children. How could I, unaided, expect to raise myself from
the ruck? Was not this the more likely picture?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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