There were moments during the next few weeks when I listened to the
voice of my good angel, when I saw clearly that even from the lowest
point of view he was giving me sound advice. I would go to the man, tell
him frankly the whole truth.
But Vane never left my elbow. Suspecting, I suppose, he gave me clearly
to understand that if I did so, I must expect no mercy from him. My
story, denounced by him as an outrageous lie, would be regarded as the
funk-inspired subterfuge of a young rogue. At the best I should handicap
myself with suspicion that would last me throughout my career. On the
other hand, what harm had we done? Presented in some twenty or so small
towns, where it would soon be forgotten, a play something like. Most
plays were something like. Our friend would produce his version and
reap a rich harvest; ours would disappear. If by any unlikely chance
discussion should arise, the advertisement would be to his advantage. So
soon as possible we would replace it by a new piece altogether. A young
man of my genius could surely write something better than hotch-potch
such as this; experience was all that I had lacked. As regarded
one's own conscience, was not the world's honesty a mere question of
convention? Had he been a young man, and had we diddled him out of his
play for a ten-pound note, we should have been applauded as sharp men of
business. The one commandment of the world was: Don't get found out. The
whole trouble, left alone, would sink and fade. Later, we should tell it
as a good joke--and be laughed with.
So I fell from mine own esteem. Vane helping me--and he had brains--I
set feverishly to work. I am glad to remember that every line I wrote
was born in misery. I tried to persuade Vane to let me make a new
play altogether, which I offered to give him for nothing. He expressed
himself as grateful, but his frequently declared belief in my dramatic
talent failed to induce his acceptance.
“Later on, my dear Kelver,” was his reply. “For the present this is
doing very well. Going on as we are, we shall soon improve it out of all
recognition, while at the same time losing nothing that is essential.
All your ideas are excellent.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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