“Merely assembled to see you,” explained Mr. Hodgson, without raising
his eyes from his letters.
“Oh, good gracious!” cried the leading lady, “do let us get away
quickly.”
“Box seat, my dear,” returned Mr. Hodgson.
The leading lady, accepting the proffered assistance of myself and three
other gentlemen, mounted the ladder with charming hesitation. Some delay
in getting off was caused by our low comedian, who twice, making
believe to miss his footing, slid down again into the arms of the
stolid door-keeper. The crowd, composed for the most part of small boys
approving the endeavour to amuse them, laughed and applauded. Our low
comedian thus encouraged, made a third attempt upon his hands and knees,
and, gaining the roof, sat down upon the tenor, who smiled somewhat
mechanically.
The first dozen or so 'busses we passed our low comedian greeted by
rising to his feet and bowing profoundly, afterwards falling back
upon either the tenor or myself. Except by the tenor and myself his
performance appeared to be much appreciated. Charing Cross passed, and
nobody seeming to be interested in our progress, to the relief of the
tenor and myself, he settled down.
“People sometimes ask me,” said the low comedian, brushing the dust off
his knees, “why I do this sort of thing off the stage. It amuses me.”
“I was coming up to London the other day from Birmingham,” he continued.
“At Willesden, when the ticket collector opened the door, I sprang out
of the carriage and ran off down the platform. Of course, he ran after
me, shouting to all the others to stop me. I dodged them for about
a minute. You wouldn't believe the excitement there was. Quite fifty
people left their seats to see what it was all about. I explained
to them when they caught me that I had been travelling second with a
first-class ticket, which was the fact. People think I do it to attract
attention. I do it for my own pleasure.”
“It must be a troublesome way of amusing oneself,” I suggested.
“Exactly what my wife says,” he replied; “she can never understand the
desire that comes over us all, I suppose, at times, to play the fool. As
a rule, when she is with me I don't do it.”
“She's not here today?” I asked, glancing round.
“She suffers so from headaches,” he answered, “she hardly ever goes
anywhere.”
“I'm sorry.” I spoke not out of mere politeness; I really did feel
sorry.
During the drive to Richmond this irrepressible desire to amuse himself
got the better of him more than once or twice. Through Kensington he
attracted a certain amount of attention by balancing the horn upon his
nose. At Kew he stopped the coach to request of a young ladies' boarding
school change for sixpence. At the foot of Richmond Hill he caused a
crowd to assemble while trying to persuade a deaf old gentleman in a
Bath-chair to allow his man to race us up the hill for a shilling.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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