He knew the trial would end the following day, and he would know the
worst there was to know. Those twelve men, who had looked kindly but
pityingly at him as they listened to Elithe, would do their duty as he
should do it in their place, and must find him guilty. If they did not
he was disgraced for life, and could never hold up his head again as he
once had held it. There was no light in the future, and his appearance
was that of an old man when he reëntered the jail. The officer who
conducted him there was very kind and the jailer’s wife brought him many
delicacies for his supper. But he could not eat. The last two days had
been terrible to him, more terrible than any day could ever be again, he
thought, unless——. He could not finish the sentence and contemplate a
possible time when he would say good-bye forever to a world in which he
had been so happy until within a few weeks. These weeks had seemed a
horrible nightmare from which he must awaken either for better or worse.
The awakening had come, and it was for the worse, and never had he felt
so entirely hopeless and miserable as when he sat alone in his room
reviewing the events of the day and dreading those of the morrow.
If I could only sleep and forget it, he thought, and after a while he
fell asleep, so worn and exhausted that he could keep awake no longer.
He had no means of knowing the hour when he awoke. It must be late, he
knew, and it was very dark outside. In the distance he heard the
rumbling of thunder and nearer the sound of the waves beating on the
shore. He knew just how it looked down there by the sea. He had seen it
many times when a storm was gathering, and, with shoes and stockings
off, had waded out as far as he dared and then ran for the shore with
the green waves in hot pursuit. He had thought it fun, but liked better
the long, sunny beach by the tower, with the music and bathers, Clarice
and himself, and Elithe and Sherry, his first dog, dead so long ago,
“just as I may be when the season comes again,” he said, wondering if
they would miss him and sometimes speak of him to each other.
Yes, he knew they would; his friends, who liked him, would speak of him
pityingly, in low tones, as a good fellow who went astray. Others would
repeat his story to those who did not know it, and point out the spot
where Jack was killed, and the jail where the man who killed him was
confined and from which he was taken to expiate his crime. It was
horrible to think of it, and he so young, and so much to live for that
he could not die, and in that way. Die and never see again the places he
loved so well,—the green woods and hills of the country, the city haunts
so dear to him, his home, and more than all, his friends, his father and
mother and Clarice. He spoke her name aloud, “Clarice, Clarice, I loved
you so much and you think I killed him,” he cried, stretching out his
arms in the darkness and then letting them fall at his side in an
abandonment of grief.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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