"Proceed! Why should I tell you more? My mother urged me to promise her
that I would be married whilst she was yet alive, that was, immediately.
I refused. She asked me if I had any objection to make to the beauty,
birth, and qualities of the young lady. I replied that I acknowledged
them all, and that she was remarkably accomplished; but I told my
mother, too, that I would not be married. Then she began to weep. Strong
emotion is too distressing for her, weak as she is, and she fainted. I
believed that I was going to lose her, and all my tenderness revived.
When she came to herself, my mother pressed my hand, and with cutting
tenderness begged my pardon for having sought to thwart me in my wishes;
adding, that she would not again advert to the subject. But I know, I
feel that I have struck her a deep blow by my refusal, the consequences
of which I dare not even think of. She had built all her greatest, her
final hopes on this marriage. Yesterday she was worse. I found her
deeply dejected, but she did not say one word relative to this union.
Yet, in spite of her soft and saddened smile, I read all her
disappointment in her features, and left her with my heart rent in
twain. Her failing health will not, I fear, withstand such violent
shocks. Well, then, tell me, Paula, can any lot be more wretched than
mine? My senses seem to have forsaken me. Was it not sufficient to be
separated from you by a solemn oath? It interdicted me from the present,
but then at least it left me the future. Now it is necessary, to render
my mother's dying hours easy and tranquil, that I should resign myself
to this hateful, impossible marriage, which will destroy even the faint
hopes which remain to me. Once again, it shall not be! no, no, a
thousand times no! Paula, if you love me--if you are capable of
sacrificing as much as I sacrifice for you--and we shall not have to
blush in each other's presence----"
"No; for both of us will then have trampled under foot our oaths and our
duties," said Paula, interrupting De Morville.
"We will fly to the world's end, and----"
"And the first effervescence of love passed, the hatred and contempt we
shall feel for each other will avenge those we have sacrificed. My dear
De Morville, your reason wanders."
"What would you have me do?"
"Not perjure yourself; not hasten your mother's death."
"Renounce you! marry another! never--never!"
"Listen to me. I declare to you that I cannot love a man cowardly and
perjured, not even if it were for my sake that he basely perjured
himself. My self-love, as a woman, is satisfied when with you for a few
moments passion has conquered duty. This is sufficing. You have sworn
never to say a word which could induce me to forget my duty,--you will
keep this oath."
"But----"
"I will keep it for you if you are ever tempted to break it."
"And this marriage?" said De Morville, with bitterness,--"this marriage,
you advise me to consent to it, no doubt?"
"No."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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