She shivered a little. Could that really be true--that God was turning
His face away from her? She had tried so hard to cling to her faith.
It was all she had; it was all that of late had stood between her and
a despair and misery, a horror so overwhelming that death by contrast
seemed a boon.
Her lips quivered as she walked along. It almost seemed as though she
did not want to fight any more. And yet there had been a great and
very wonderful reward given to her before she had even made the final
sacrifice that she had pledged herself to make. If her soul revolted
from the association that must come with Doctor Crang, if every instinct
within her rose up in stark horror before the contamination of the man's
wanton moral filth, one strange and wondrous thing sustained her. And
she had no right to mistrust God, for God must have brought her this.
She had bought an unknown life--that had become dearer to her than her
own, or anything that might happen to her. She knew love. It was no
longer a _stranger_ who would live on through the years because she
was soon to pay the price that had been set upon his life--it was John
Bruce.
Claire caught her hands suddenly to her breast. John Bruce! She was
still afraid--for John Bruce. And to-night, all evening, that fear had
been growing stronger, chilling her with a sense of evil premonition and
foreboding. Was it only premonition? Crang had threatened. She had heard
the threats. And she knew out of her own terrible experience that Crang,
as between human life and his own desires, held human life as naught.
And yet, surely John Bruce was safe from him now--at least his life was
safe. That was how Crang had wrung the promise from her. No, she was
not so sure! There was personal enmity between them now. Besides,
if anything happened she would not be able to bring it to Crang's
door--Crang would take care of that--and her promise would still hold.
And so she was afraid.
She had not seen Crang since the night that John Bruce had thrown him
down the stairs. She had thanked God for the relief his absence had
brought her--but now, here again, she was not so sure! What had kept him
away? Where was John Bruce? She began to regret that she had told John
Bruce he must not attempt to see her or communicate with her any
more, though she had only done so because she had been afraid for his
sake--that it would but arouse the very worst in Doctor Crang. Perhaps
John Bruce had yielded to her pleading and had left the city. She shook
her head. If she knew the man she loved at all, John Bruce would run
from no one, and----
Claire halted abruptly. She had reached the dingy rooming house where
Hawkins lived. She brushed her hand resolutely across her eyes as she
mounted the steps. The tears had come after all, for her lashes were
wet.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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