Peck's Compendium of Fun: Comprising the Choicest Gems of Wit, Humor, Sarcasm and Pathos of America's Favorite HumoristPeck, George W. (George Wilbur)
General
Peck's Compendium of Fun: Comprising the Choicest Gems of Wit, Humor, Sarcasm and Pathos of America's Favorite Humorist
Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
American wit and humor
We took passage per skiff at twelve o'clock. If there was one drawback, it
was the fact that the oar-locks of the boat had been mislaid. After
consuming an hour in not finding them, Frank Hatch became discouraged at
seeing us lay around the levee, so he tied the oars on with tarred rope
and we got off, three of us besides the other dogs. The water was so high
that we crossed Barron's island, only having to get out and pull the boat
over two or three sand-bars and a raft or two. Every time we got out to
pull the boat, the dogs would get out to look for woodcock, around the
stumps, and when they got in the boat would be full of water and mud, and
of course we had our best clothes on. Did it ever occur to you how much
water a dog could carry in his hair? A dog is worse than a sponge. An
ordinary dog, with luck, can fill a skiff with water at two jumps. Not,
however, with us in the boat to bail out the water. The woodcock's tail
sticks up like a sore thumb. We are thus particular to describe
the woodcock, so if you ever see one you can go right away from him.
Woodcock and mosquitoes are in "cahoots." While the woodcock bores in the
ground for snakes and other feed that makes him fat and worth a dollar in
New York, the mosquito stands on the ramparts and talks to the boys.
Well, speaking about woodcock, after riding five miles, through bushes,
brambles and things, we got out of the boat and only had to walk a couple
of miles to get where the birds were. Right here we wish to state that we
shouldn't have gone after the woodcock at all, only everybody said it was
such fun. Root showed us a picture of a woodcock in a book, and if that
didn't convince us, the fact that a small boy came in town and sold three
dozen, did. Then we wanted to go. There never has been a year when
woodcock were so plenty at places we didn't visit. The most fun was at a
ditch which was about a foot wider than any of us could jump. Root gave
his gun to McDonald and plunged in. Then McDonald threw a gun to Root. It
hit him on the thumb-nail and dropped in the ditch out of sight. Mc.
thought it was Root's gun, and he apologized to Root for throwing it so
carelessly. Root supposed it was Mc.'s gun, and he apologized for not
catching it. We never saw men more polite in the world. Mc. started to
jump across, when a dog got between his legs, and both went in up to their
knees. You never can jump as well with a dog tangled up amongst your legs.
The dog looked at Jennings as though he wanted to swear. We waded through
the ditch and only got two feet wet. The rest of them had more than that
wet.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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