Peck's Compendium of Fun: Comprising the Choicest Gems of Wit, Humor, Sarcasm and Pathos of America's Favorite HumoristPeck, George W. (George Wilbur)
General
Peck's Compendium of Fun: Comprising the Choicest Gems of Wit, Humor, Sarcasm and Pathos of America's Favorite Humorist
Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
American wit and humor
Under this heading I can think of nothing that appears more appropriate
than the subject of the artificial propagation of fish. It is a subject
that has arrested the attention of many of the ablest minds of the
country, and the results of experiments have been thus far so satisfactory
that it is almost safe to predict that within the next ten centuries every
man, however poor, may pick bull-heads off of his crab apple vines and
gather his winter supply of fresh shad from his sweet potato trees at less
than fifty cents a pound. The experiments that have been made in our own
state warrant us in going largely into the fish business. A year ago a
quantity of fish seeds were sub soil plowed into the ice of Lake Mendota,
and to-day I am informed that boarders at the hotels there have all the
fish to eat that any reasonable man could desire. The expense is small and
the returns are enormous. It is estimated that from the six quarts of fish
seeds that were planted in the lake there are now ready for the market at
least 11,000,000 car loads of brain-producing food, if you spit on your
bait when you go fishing.
PECK'S BAD BOY AND HIS PA.
HIS PA GETS BOXED.
"You don't want to buy a good parrot, do you?" said the bad boy to the
grocery man as he put his wet mittens on the top of the stove to dry, and
kept his back to the stove so he could watch the grocery man, and be
prepared for a kick, if the man should remember the rotten egg sign that
the boy put up in front of the grocery last week.
"Naw, I don't want no parrot. I had rather have a fool boy around than a
parrot. But what's the matter with your Ma's parrot? I thought she
wouldn't part with him for anything."
"Well, she wouldn't until Wednesday night, but now she says she will not
have him around, and I may have half I can get for him. She told me to go
to some saloon or some disreputable place and sell him, and I thought
maybe he would about suit you," and the boy broke into a bunch of celery,
and took out a few tender stalks and rubbed them on a codfish to salt
them, and began to bite the stalks, while he held the sole of one wet boot
up against the stove to dry it, making a smell of burned leather that came
near turning the stomach of the cigar sign.
"Look-a-here boy, don't you call this a disreputable place. Some of the
best people in this town come here," said the grocery man as he held up
the cheese knife and grated his teeth as though he would like to jab it
into the youth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account