Peck's Compendium of Fun: Comprising the Choicest Gems of Wit, Humor, Sarcasm and Pathos of America's Favorite HumoristPeck, George W. (George Wilbur)
General
Peck's Compendium of Fun: Comprising the Choicest Gems of Wit, Humor, Sarcasm and Pathos of America's Favorite Humorist
Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
American wit and humor
By this time the woman was mad. She bought a pistol and started for the
depot, firmly resolved to kill the first man that molested her. She did
not meet anybody until she arrived at the Junction, and she sat down in
the depot to rest before the train came.
Pierce, the hotel man, is one of the most noticin' persons anywhere, and
she hadn't been seated a York minute before his eye caught the discrepancy
in her apparel.
He tried to get the telegraph operator and the expressman to go
and tell her about it, but they wouldn't, so he went and took a seat near
her.
"It is a warm day, madame," said Pierce, looking at the red strip at the
bottom of her dress.
She drew her pistol, cocked it, and pointed it at Pierce, who was
trembling in every leg, and said:
"Look-a-here, you young cuss. I have had half a dozen grown persons down
town tell me my petticoat was coming off, and I have stood it because I
thought they were old enough to know what they were talking about, but
when it comes to boys of your age coming around thinking they know all
about women's clothes it is too much, and the shooting is going to
commence."
Mr. Pierce made one bound and reached the door, and then got behind a
white greyhound and waited for her to go away, which she soon did. As she
was stepping on the car the conductor, Jake Sazerowski, said to her:
"Your apparel, madame, seems to be demoralized," but she rushed into the
car, and was seen no more.
Since then these gentlemen have all learned that the fashion calls for a
red strip at the bottom of a dress, and they will make no more mistakes.
But they were all serious enough, and their interference was prompted by
pure kindness of heart, and not from any wicked thoughts.
A NEW SPARKING SCHEME.
A number of fathers who have daughters, have formed a society, the object
of which is to charge young men who visit the girls, for meals, gas, wear
and tear of furniture, etc. There has been so much sparking going on which
did not mean business, that the organization has seemed necessary.
EFFECTS OF MINERAL WATER.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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