Peck's Sunshine: Being a Collection of Articles Written for Peck's Sun,; Milwaukee, Wis. - 1882Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
General
Peck's Sunshine: Being a Collection of Articles Written for Peck's Sun,; Milwaukee, Wis. - 1882
Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
American wit and humor
The visitor said he would go in, he guessed, and shake his foot once,
just for luck, and he opened the door. Such a sight met his eyes as he
never saw in a dancing school before. The whole congregation nearly, was
on its knees, and a good man was offering up a prayer that was indeed
beautiful. Collingborne began to sweat in three different languages, but
being a gentleman who had the most unbounded respect for religion in all
its forms, he uncovered his head and bowed reverently while the prayer
was being uttered.
When it was through he turned to one of the truly good people in the
hall, that had watched his devotion, and said, “Say, boss, this is
evidently a new scheme. I thought this was Sherman's dancing school. You
must excuse my seeming irreverence. If you will kick me down stairs I
will consider it a special dispensation of providence,” and he went down
into the wicked world and asked a policeman where the dancing school
was. All the way home the lady friend asked him what made him so solemn,
but he only said his boots fit him too quick. He never goes to a dancing
school now without finding out if it is there yet.
PALACE CATTLE CARS.
The papers are publishing accounts of the arrival east of a train of
palace cattle cars, and illustrating how much better the cattle feel
after a trip in one of these cars, than cattle did when they made the
journey in the ordinary cattle cars.
As we understand it the cars are fitted up in the most gorgeous manner,
in mahogany and rosewood, and the upholstering is something perfectly
grand, and never before undertaken except in the palaces of the old
world.
As you enter the car there is a reception room, with a few chairs, a
lounge and an ottoman, and a Texas steer gently waves you to a seat with
his horns, while he switches off your hat with his tail. If there is
any particular cow, or steer, or ox, that you wish to see, you give your
card to the attendant steer, and he excuses himself and trots off to
find the one you desire to see. You do not have long to wait, for the
animal courteously rises, humps up his or her back, stretches, yawns,
and with the remark, “the galoot wants to interview me, probably, and
I wish he would keep away,” the particular one sought for comes to the
reception room and puts out its front foot for a shake, smiles and says,
“Glad you came. Was afraid you would let us go away and not call.”
Then the cow or steer sits down on its haunches and the conversation
flows in easy channels. You ask how they like the country, and if they
have good times, and if they are not hard worked, and all that; and they
yawn and say the country is splendid at this season of the year, and
that when passing along the road they feel as though they would like to
get out in some meadow, and eat grass and switch flies.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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