Peck's Sunshine: Being a Collection of Articles Written for Peck's Sun,; Milwaukee, Wis. - 1882Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
General
Peck's Sunshine: Being a Collection of Articles Written for Peck's Sun,; Milwaukee, Wis. - 1882
Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
American wit and humor
More matches have been broken up by hammocks than by all the Sunday
schools in the world, and no girl who is bow-legged, or has an ankle
like a rutabaga, should ever trust herself in a hammock, even though it
is held by half a dozen friends, as the hammock will shy at a piece of
paper as quick as a skittish horse, and in such a moment as ye think not
you are on all fours, your head dizzy, and if there is a hole in your
stocking as small as a Democrat's hope of election, it will look to
outsiders as big as the gate to a fair ground. O, a hammock is worse
than a bicycle.
BOYS AND CIRCUSES.
There is one thing the American people have got to learn, and that is to
give scholars in schools a half holiday when there is a circus in town.
We know that we are in advance of many of the prominent educators of the
country when we advocate such a policy, but sooner or later the people
whose duty it is to superintend schools will learn that we are right,
and they will have to catch up with us or resign.
In the first place, a boy is going to attend a circus, if there is one
in town, and the question before teachers and superintendents should
be, not how to prevent him from going to the circus, but how to keep
his mind on his books the day before the circus and the day after.
There have been several million boys made into liars by school officials
attempting to prevent their going to circuses, and we contend that it is
the duty of teachers to place as few temptations to lie as possible in
the way of boys.
If a boy knows that there will be no school on the afternoon of circus
day, he will study like a whitehead all the forenoon, and learn twice as
much as he will in all day if he can't go. If he knows that there is a
conspiracy on foot between his parents and the teachers to keep him from
the circus, he begins to think of some lie to get out of school. He will
be sick, or run away, or something.
He will get there, if possible. And after the first lie succeeds in
getting him out of school, he is a liar from the word go. There is
something, some sort of electricity that runs from a boy to a circus,
and all the teachers in the world cannot break the connection. A circus
is the boys' heaven.
You may talk to him about the beautiful gates ajar, and the angel
band in heaven that plays around the great white throne, and he can't
understand it, but the least hint about the circus tent, with the flap
pulled to one side to get in, and the band wagon, and the girls jumping
through hoops, and the clown, and he is onto your racket at a jump.
You may try to paralyze him by the story of Daniel in the den of lions,
and how he was saved by his faith in a power above, and the boy's mind
will revert to the circus, where a man in tights and spangles goes in
and bosses the lions and tigers around, and he will wonder if Daniel had
a rawhide, and backed out of the cage with his eye on the boss lion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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