“Come on, Mr. Train-robber,” said Uncle Ike the next morning, as the boy showed up in the breakfast room, and the old man held up his hands as he supposed passengers did when train-robbers attacked a train. “Go through me, condemn you, and take every last dollar I have got. I have brought you up to be an honest boy, and you turn out to be a pickpocket, and rob me of my watch. Oh, I tell you, no old bachelor ever had so much trouble bringing up a boy as I have. Now, I expect you will graduate in burglary, bunko, and politics, won't you?” and the old man looked at the laughing boy with such pride that the boy knew he was only fooling. “No, if I went into burglary and kindred industries, I could never find such easy marks to practice on as dear old Uncle Ike,” and the boy put his arms around the old man and asked him what time it was, and the Uncle grabbed his fob as though he was not sure whether it was there or not. “Now, let's eat breakfast,” and they sat down together, and Aunt Almira poured the coffee, while Uncle Ike looked over the morning paper. “You can disband your army, and let them go back to the paths of peace, for Dreyfus has been pardoned,” said the old man. “I knew that they would pardon that man.” “Now, wouldn't that kill you,” said the boy, as he sampled two or three pieces of canteloupe to find one to his taste. “That breaks up my scheme to fight the French. Uncle Ike, I have about made up my mind to lead a different life and become a minister, and preach, and go to sociables, and just have a dandy time. Say, it's a snap to be a minister, and only have to preach an hour Sunday, and have all the week to go fishing and hunting. What denomination would you advise me to become a minister of?” “Well,” said Uncle Ike, as he dropped a few lumps of sugar into his coffee, and looked at the boy across the table, “from the color of your hair, and your constant talk about falling in love every time you see a pretty girl, and the manner in which you take up a collection every time you see me anywhere, I should say you would make a pretty fair Mormon. Yes, if I was in your place I would preach Mormonism, as your experience in taking things out of people's pockets, in the way of watches, would come handy, and you are so confounded freckled you would have to have wives sealed to you or they would not stay. A minister has got to be pretty condemned good-looking, nowadays, to hold a job in a fashionable church.” “But the minister business is easy, ain't it? They don't have to work, anyway,” and the boy looked at Uncle Ike as though life expected an opinion that was sound.