"I tell you what, my friends, here's a great noise to little purpose, and much shrugging, and stamping, and flourishing of hands, that might as well be let alone. As for me, take notice, that I am quite out of the question, and after this day I'll have nothing more to do with any of you. I'm thankful to this young fellow for having opened my eyes; though I can't approve of his showing me his sweetheart's letter. He has saved me from the greatest act of folly an old man can commit, that of marrying a young girl. I shall take care not to make a jackass of myself another time." Sam and Dick exchanged looks of congratulation. "Now," continued Uncle Philip, "if, after all this, the young barber-man is still willing to take the girl, I know not what better either of them can do than to get married off-hand. I shall not feel quite satisfied till I have seen the ceremony myself, so let it take place immediately. I happen to have a hundred dollar bill in my pocket-book, so I'll give it to them for a wedding present. Come, I'm waiting for an answer." Madame Franchimeau and the young couple all hesitated. "Uncle," whispered Sam, "they have just been quarrelling violently--how can you expect them to get over it so soon, and be married directly?" "Pho!" replied Uncle Philip, "an't they French?" There was a pause of some moments. At last Robertine put on her best smile, and said in French to Lantiponne--"My estimable friend, pardon the errors of a young and simple heart, which has never for a moment ceased to love you." "What candour!" exclaimed Lantiponne--"what adorable frankness! Charming Robertine!"--kissing her hand--"more dear to me than ever." The aunt, though much displeased at Robertine for missing Uncle Philip, thought it best that the affair should go off with as good a grace as possible, and she exclaimed, while she wiped tears of vexation from her eyes--"How sweet to witness this reunion!" "Boys," said Uncle Philip, "which of you will run for Squire Van Tackemfast? To prevent all future risks, we'll have the marriage here on the spot, and Miss Robertine shall return to New York to-day as Madame"--he had to consult the young Frenchman's card--"as Madame Achille Simagrée de Lantiponne." Both boys instantly set off for the magistrate, but as Sam ran fastest, Dick gave up the chase, and turned to the house, where he startled his mother by exclaiming--"Make haste--make haste down to the cabin--there's to be marrying there directly." "Shocking!" cried Mrs. Clavering, throwing away her sewing. "Is Uncle Philip really going to play the madman? Can there be no way of saving him?" "He _is_ saved," replied Dick; "he has just been saved by a French barber, Miss Robertine's old sweetheart; and so Uncle Philip is going to have them married out of the way, as soon as possible. I suppose he is determined that Miss Robertine shall not have the least chance of making another dead set at him. Sam is gone for Squire Van Tackemfast."