The town of M---- was situated on the banks of a river. The streets were long and narrow, and the houses high and dingy. The ground on which the town was built was uneven, and the materials with which it was paved were execrable. This is spoken of the best parts of the town, of those streets which stood on the higher ground. The inferior part was not paved at all, and was approachable only by an almost abrupt descent through a lane or narrow street, in which the houses nearly met at the top. The ground on which a passenger must walk was of a nature so miscellaneous as almost to defy description, and quite to puzzle analysis. Black mud, as everlasting as the perennial snows which rest on the summits of inaccessible mountains, decayed vegetables of every season of the year, refuse fish, unpicked bones of every conceivable variety of animals, deceased cats and dogs and rats in every possible degree of decomposition, broken bricks and tiles, and shreds of earthen vessels of all variety of domestic application, sticks, stones, old shoes, tin kettles and superannuated old saucepans, formed the dead stock of the street. And the live stock was by no means calculated to give to the spectator a high idea of the dignity of human nature. The fair sex in these regions appeared by no means to any great advantage; nature had done little for them and art less. In their voices there was less melody than loudness, and in their language more energy than elegance. They expressed their feelings without circumlocution, and resented indignities with hand as well as tongue. In the air which they breathed there might be enough to discompose and irritate, for the decomposition of sprats is by no means fragrant; and when an atmosphere is constantly burdened with the effluvia of soap, tallow, and train oil, it is not calculated to soothe the irritated nerves. To pass through such a region as this could not have been mightily agreeable to the refined senses of Lord Spoonbill. But not only did he pass through it, but he sought out in one of its meanest habitations the carrier of the Smatterton and Neverden letter-bags. All this however he did patiently undergo for love of Penelope Primrose. "Muggins," said his lordship, "have you left a letter at Neverden within this day or two for Mr Darnley?" "Yes, my lord," replied the carrier. "And did you see Mr Darnley when you delivered the letter?" "Oh, yes, my lord, I see Mr Robert himself. And please, my lord, I am almost afraid that you and I will be found out." "Found out, you rascal! what do you mean?"