It would be wearying to our readers to have the particulars and the failures of a clumsy mockery of an elegant dinner set forth at full length. Let it be supposed that there was expense, inelegance, constraint, anxiety, mortification. As we are not writing for cooks, we pass over the minutenesses of a spoiled dinner; the greatest evil of which was, that the party was in some degree silent during the progress of dinner, for they had not much opportunity of talking gastronomically. The English people can talk, but they must have something to begin with. If they meet out of doors, they must begin talking about the weather, and within doors, especially at dinner time, they must begin talking about eatables and drinkables. From such beginnings they can go on to any subject; but they must of necessity have a common-place beginning. After the cloth was removed, and the spoiled or ill-arranged dishes were forgotten, the party felt themselves more at liberty. We have not yet named the persons who composed the party; and when we say that Mr Kipperson, Mr Zephaniah Pringle, and five or six of lesser note were present, our readers may well suppose that there was no lack of inclination to discourse, especially on the part of those two gentlemen whom we have named. Now it has been stated, that Zephaniah the critic had carried down to Smatterton an awkward rumour concerning Penelope Primrose. The source from whence the said critic had gathered the information has been also stated. But as soon as the intelligence of Mr Primrose's intention to reside with his daughter at Smatterton reached the new rector, and was by him communicated to his brother and to Mr Kipperson, a virtual contradiction was given to the ill report; and then all three of the gentlemen found out that they had never believed it. To render themselves as agreeable as possible to Mr Primrose, the three whom we have named talked great abundance of nonsense and magnificence. Their first concern immediately after dinner was to consult on the best means of saving the nation. Mr Kipperson was well satisfied that nothing would or could do the nation the slightest service, so long as the agricultural interest was neglected. There were two serious evils which were growing worse and worse, the increase of the population, and the importation of foreign grain. The ingenious agriculturist proved that the farmer was eaten up by the increasing population, and that the quantity of grain in the country was so large that it could not find consumers.