Civilization, Western -- Fiction; France -- Civilization -- Fiction; Penguins -- Fiction; Satire
On the eighteenth of September the news ran in Alca that Chatillon had
taken flight. Everywhere there was surprise and astonishment. People
doubted, for they could not understand.
This is what had happened: One day as the brave Under-Emiral
Vulcanmould happened, as if by chance, to go into the office of M.
Barbotan, the Minister of Foreign Affairs, he remarked with his usual
frankness:
“M. Barbotan, your colleagues do not seem to me to be up to much; it is
evident that they have never commanded a ship. That fool Chatillon
gives them a deuced bad fit of the shivers.”
The Minister, in sign of denial, waved his paper-knife in the air above
his desk.
“Don’t deny it,” answered Vulcanmould. “You don’t know how to get rid
of Chatillon. You do not dare to indict him before the High Court
because you are not sure of being able to bring forward a strong enough
charge. Bigourd will defend him, and Bigourd is a clever advocate. . .
. You are right, M. Barbotan, you are right. It would be a dangerous
trial.”
“Ah! my friend,” said the Minister, in a careless tone, “if you knew
how satisfied we are. . . . I receive the most reassuring news from my
prefects. The good sense of the Penguins will do justice to the
intrigues of this mutinous soldier. Can you suppose for a moment that a
great people, an intelligent, laborious people, devoted to liberal
institutions which. . .”
Vulcanmould interrupted with a great sigh:
“Ah! If I had time to do it I would relieve you of your difficulty. I
would juggle away my Chatillon like a nutmeg out of a thimble. I would
fillip him off to Porpoisia.”
The Minister paid close attention.
“It would not take long,” continued the sailor. “I would rid you in a
trice of the creature. . . . But just now I have other fish to fry. . .
. I am in a bad hole. I must find a pretty big sum. But, deuce take it,
honour before everything.”
The Minister and the Under-Emiral looked at each other for a moment in
silence. Then Barbotan said with authority:
“Under-Emiral Vulcanmould, get rid of this seditious soldier. You will
render a great service to Penguinia, and the Minister of Home Affairs
will see that your gambling debts are paid.”
The same evening Vulcanmould called on Chatillon and looked at him for
some time with an expression of grief and mystery.
“My do you look like that?” asked the Emiral in an uneasy tone.
Vulcanmould said to him sadly:
“Old brother in arms, all is discovered. For the past half-hour the
government knows everything.”
At these words Chatillon sank down overwhelmed.
Vulcanmould continued:
“You may be arrested any moment. I advise you to make off.”
And drawing out his watch:
“Not a minute to lose.”
“Have I time to call on the Viscountess Olive?”
“It would be mad,” said Vulcanmould, handing him a passport and a pair
of blue spectacles, and telling him to have courage.
“I will,” said Chatillon.
“Good-bye! old chum.”
“Good-bye and thanks! You have saved my life.”
“That is the least I could do.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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