Bildungsromans; Boys -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Middle West -- Fiction
“Third,” returned the fat-faced boy. “I got 'em ALL scared in THAT
school.”
“What of?” innocently asked Penrod, to whom “the Third”--in a distant
part of town--was undiscovered country.
“What of? I guess you'd soon see what of, if you ever was in that school
about one day. You'd be lucky if you got out alive!”
“Are the teachers mean?”
The other boy frowned with bitter scorn. “Teachers! Teachers don't order
ME around, I can tell you! They're mighty careful how they try to run
over Rupe Collins.”
“Who's Rupe Collins?”
“Who is he?” echoed the fat-faced boy incredulously. “Say, ain't you got
ANY sense?”
“What?”
“Say, wouldn't you be just as happy if you had SOME sense?”
“Ye-es.” Penrod's answer, like the look he lifted to the impressive
stranger, was meek and placative. “Rupe Collins is the principal at your
school, guess.”
The other yelled with jeering laughter, and mocked Penrod's manner and
voice. “'Rupe Collins is the principal at your school, I guess!'” He
laughed harshly again, then suddenly showed truculence. “Say, 'bo,
whyn't you learn enough to go in the house when it rains? What's the
matter of you, anyhow?”
“Well,” urged Penrod timidly, “nobody ever TOLD me who Rupe Collins is:
I got a RIGHT to think he's the principal, haven't I?”
The fat-faced boy shook his head disgustedly. “Honest, you make me
sick!”
Penrod's expression became one of despair. “Well, who IS he?” he cried.
“'Who IS he?'” mocked the other, with a scorn that withered. “'Who IS
he?' ME!”
“Oh!” Penrod was humiliated but relieved: he felt that he had proved
himself criminally ignorant, yet a peril seemed to have passed. “Rupe
Collins is your name, then, I guess. I kind of thought it was, all the
time.”
The fat-faced boy still appeared embittered, burlesquing this speech in
a hateful falsetto. “'Rupe Collins is YOUR name, then, I guess!' Oh, you
'kind of thought it was, all the time,' did you?” Suddenly concentrating
his brow into a histrionic scowl he thrust his face within an inch of
Penrod's. “Yes, sonny, Rupe Collins is my name, and you better look
out what you say when he's around or you'll get in big trouble! YOU
UNDERSTAND THAT, 'BO?”
Penrod was cowed but fascinated: he felt that there was something
dangerous and dashing about this newcomer.
“Yes,” he said, feebly, drawing back. “My name's Penrod Schofield.”
“Then I reckon your father and mother ain't got good sense,” said Mr.
Collins promptly, this also being formula.
“Why?”
“'Cause if they had they'd of give you a good name!” And the agreeable
youth instantly rewarded himself for the wit with another yell of
rasping laughter, after which he pointed suddenly at Penrod's right
hand.
“Where'd you get that wart on your finger?” he demanded severely.
“Which finger?” asked the mystified Penrod, extending his hand.
“The middle one.”
“Where?”
“There!” exclaimed Rupe Collins, seizing and vigorously twisting the
wartless finger naively offered for his inspection.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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