Bildungsromans; Boys -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Middle West -- Fiction
“Quit!” shouted Penrod in agony. “QUEE-yut!”
“Say your prayers!” commanded Rupe, and continued to twist the luckless
finger until Penrod writhed to his knees.
“OW!” The victim, released, looked grievously upon the still painful
finger.
At this Rupe's scornful expression altered to one of contrition. “Well,
I declare!” he exclaimed remorsefully. “I didn't s'pose it would hurt.
Turn about's fair play; so now you do that to me.”
He extended the middle finger of his left hand and Penrod promptly
seized it, but did not twist it, for he was instantly swung round with
his back to his amiable new acquaintance: Rupe's right hand operated
upon the back of Penrod's slender neck; Rupe's knee tortured the small
of Penrod's back.
“OW!” Penrod bent far forward involuntarily and went to his knees again.
“Lick dirt,” commanded Rupe, forcing the captive's face to the sidewalk;
and the suffering Penrod completed this ceremony.
Mr. Collins evinced satisfaction by means of his horse laugh.
“You'd last jest about one day up at the Third!” he said. “You'd come
runnin' home, yellin' 'MOM-MUH, MOM-muh,' before recess was over!”
“No, I wouldn't,” Penrod protested rather weakly, dusting his knees.
“You would, too!”
“No, I w----
“Looky here,” said the fat-faced boy, darkly, “what you mean,
counterdicking me?”
He advanced a step and Penrod hastily qualified his contradiction.
“I mean, I don't THINK I would. I----”
“You better look out!” Rupe moved closer, and unexpectedly grasped the
back of Penrod's neck again. “Say, 'I WOULD run home yellin' “MOM-muh!”'”
“Ow! I WOULD run home yellin' 'Mom-muh.'”
“There!” said Rupe, giving the helpless nape a final squeeze. “That's
the way we do up at the Third.”
Penrod rubbed his neck and asked meekly:
“Can you do that to any boy up at the Third?”
“See here now,” said Rupe, in the tone of one goaded beyond all
endurance, “YOU say if I can! You better say it quick, or----”
“I knew you could,” Penrod interposed hastily, with the pathetic
semblance of a laugh. “I only said that in fun.”
“In 'fun'!” repeated Rupe stormily. “You better look out how you----”
“Well, I SAID I wasn't in earnest!” Penrod retreated a few steps. “_I_
knew you could, all the time. I expect _I_ could do it to some of the
boys up at the Third, myself. Couldn't I?”
“No, you couldn't.”
“Well, there must be SOME boy up there that I could----”
“No, they ain't! You better----”
“I expect not, then,” said Penrod, quickly.
“You BETTER 'expect not.' Didn't I tell you once you'd never get back
alive if you ever tried to come up around the Third? You want me to SHOW
you how we do up there, 'bo?”
He began a slow and deadly advance, whereupon Penrod timidly offered a
diversion:
“Say, Rupe, I got a box of rats in our stable under a glass cover, so
you can watch 'em jump around when you hammer on the box. Come on and
look at 'em.”
“All right,” said the fat-faced boy, slightly mollified. “We'll let Dan
kill 'em.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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