"We will come with you." Mrs. Mundy, who had gotten out her hat and
coat to go to see Etta before Mrs. Banch came in, hurriedly put them
on, while I went for mine, and together we followed the woman to the
small and shabby house in the upper part of which Etta had been
living for some weeks past; the lower part being occupied by an old
shoemaker and his wife who had been kind to her; and as we entered
the room where the little mother and her baby lay I did not try to
keep them back--the tears that were too late.
"Last night I was standing in the door when she came by with a letter
in her hand." As Mrs. Banch talked, she was still quivering from the
shock of her discovery, and her words came brokenly. "On her way
back from mailing it I asked her to come in and set with me, but she
wouldn't do it; she said she was going to take the baby with her to
spend the night, as she didn't want to be by herself; and, going
up-stairs, she wrapped her up good and took her away with her. I
don't know why, but I felt worried all last night, and this morning I
couldn't get down to nothing 'til I ran around to see how she was and
how the baby was, and when I went up in her room--" The woman's
work-worn hands were pressed to her breast. "God--this world is a
hard place for girls who sin! It don't seem to matter about men, but
women--" Presently she raised her head and looked at us. "I never
seen a human being what had her spirit for enduring. She paid her
price without whining, but something must have happened what she
couldn't stand. She had a heart if she was--if she was--"
Two days later, as quietly as her life had ended, Etta's body, with
her baby on its breast, was put into the ground, and mingled with
David Guard's voice as he read the service for the dead was the
far-off murmur of city noises, the soft rise and fall of city sounds.
With Mrs. Mundy and Mrs. Banch, the old shoemaker and his wife, I
stood at the open grave and watched the earth piled into a mound that
marked a resting-place at last for a broken body and a soul no one
had tried to reach that it might save, but I did not hear the beating
of the clods of clay, nor the twittering of the birds in the trees,
nor the wind in their tops. I heard instead Etta's cry to Kitty and
to me: "In God's name, can't somebody do something to make good women
understand!"
It is these words that beat into my brain at night; these and the
words I did not speak in time and which, on the next day, were too
late. The note she sent Selwyn also keeps me awake.
"I am going," she wrote, "so the thought of me will not make you
afraid. You tried to help me, but there isn't any help for girls
like me. I am taking the baby with me. I want to be sure she will
be safe. It would be too hard for her, the fight she'd have to make.
I can't leave her here alone. ETTA."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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