Peradventure; or, The Silence of GodKeable, Robert
Religion
Peradventure; or, The Silence of God
Keable, Robert
Church of England -- Fiction; Religion -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
At the corner of Edward Street and Wellington Road, scarcely reasoning
as to what he was about to do, he hailed a cab and drove to the
convent. He had bearded the nun who opened the door and was in the
parlour waiting to see the Reverend Mother before he realised the
futility of his action. Still, he was there now, and he looked
curiously about him. It was while he waited in that parlour that he
came to a realisation of how far from the religion it represented he
had moved. Plainly furnished with a table, a few stiff chairs, a
foreign-looking so-called couch with an antimacassar, and a cheap
bookshelf with old-fashioned books in it, an oleograph of Pius IX. hung
over the mantelpiece, beaming blandly, half a crucifix behind him. A
Madonna in coloured plaster stood on a shelf, and on the mantel-piece
at one end a cast of Christ pointing to his bleeding dripping heart,
and at the other another of St. Theresa gazing seraphically upwards. A
crucifix stood between them, the Christ meeting St. Theresa's gaze with
agonised eyes, white girt about the waist with a heavy plaster
loin-cloth. The table was covered with a faded red cloth. It held an
inkstand and a blotter. In the corner a _prie-Dieu_ was tucked out of
the way.
The Reverend Mother was kind and polite. Did he come from the family?
No, and Paul hardly cared to explain. Well, of course, he could not,
in any case, see Sister Edith. Nor was she there in fact. She had
been admitted to the novitiate, and, during training, the rules were
strict. She could not promise that a letter would be given; it
depended on the letter. Paul understood that it would be read. The
sister was very happy, however, much happier than she had been on the
night she arrived alone and in tears, turned out from her father's
house....
That was all, of course. He might have known it. But one thing after
another.... Paul Kestern suddenly took stock of his own heart.
Where, indeed, was he even to sleep that night? In the street, he
turned the question over. And afterwards, what was he to do? Manning
was at Cambridge; well, Fordham.... But suddenly he hated Fordham. He
saw it, proud, aloof, and utterly failing to understand such troubles
as were his. Tressor, too, would be there, and Paul shrank from
Tressor's dignified quiet kindliness. He suddenly knew himself to be
alone. He knew himself to be beaten, bruised, lonely; yes, he, with
the morning's paper full of his triumph. Apples of Sodom.... For this
he had made the great exchange. This was what it all came to: he was
down and out and alone. Ursula?
(4)
He took train to town, engaged a room for the night at the Grosvenor as
being the nearest hotel, and took a taxi to her flat. Two at a time he
mounted the stairs; damn the lift. He knocked. "Come in," she called.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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