Peradventure; or, The Silence of GodKeable, Robert
Religion
Peradventure; or, The Silence of God
Keable, Robert
Church of England -- Fiction; Religion -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
In Mr. Kestern's study the curtains were close drawn and no gas had
been lit. They were heavy crimson curtains, thick and old-fashioned,
and they hung motionless, completely screening the windows. A fire
flickered fitfully in the grate, with so little light that the army of
dancing invading shadows rushed even more and more tempestuously and
overwhelmingly forward towards it. They leapt over the sombre-backed
books in their close rows on the shelves around the room, flicking a
letter tooled in gold here and there as they passed. In the corners
they already ruled supreme. High upon the walls they hung, like
gathered clouds. Only immediately before the grate, where the big
_secretaire_ stood with its roll-top lid pushed back, was their kingdom
not yet.
The little light showed the open desk, its half-filled and
neatly-labelled pigeon-holes, its inkstand, blotter and loose papers.
Left and right of the centre, the big drawers were all shut, save one,
that gaped half-open. The heavy piece seemed almost as it were to
brood over that drawer. It was seldom open. It held Paul's old school
reports and essays and some ancient sermon notes, chiefly things he did
not guess were still in existence. A few of them, disordered, lay half
in, half out, tossed down there by a quick movement. One lay on the
floor, white in the gloom, as it had fallen from the reader's hand.
The reader himself had slipped from his seat. The revolving chair in
which he had been sitting, was pushed slightly back, and he himself was
kneeling, head forward, face hid in his hands. Mr. Kestern often
prayed there thus, busy at his sermons, and there was a footstool below
the desk for him to kneel upon. But he was not kneeling on it now.
His was no premeditated praying. He had dropped the manuscript, turned
the gas hastily out, and fallen forward there, in one swift motion,
some half-hour or more ago. The fire had thus begun to die, but he
paid no heed. His head, with its hair already more nearly white than
grey, had scarcely moved in his hands for all that time.
Yet if the man's bowed shoulders were all but motionless, the rapid
agonised thoughts lanced this way and that without ceasing through his
tortured soul. Now they were flying back down the years, revealing,
like lightning flashes, other great moments in the drama of his son:
the moment he had knelt praying--good God, how he had prayed!--and
waiting for the news of the birth in the room above; the moment when
he, and his wife with him this time, had knelt and wrestled with God in
an agony for the life of the lad upon whom the consulting doctors were
even then pronouncing a final decision. In each case, there had been
steps at last outside announcing what had seemed and what he had
acclaimed to be a veritable miracle. But now--ah! now....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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