Peradventure; or, The Silence of GodKeable, Robert
Religion
Peradventure; or, The Silence of God
Keable, Robert
Church of England -- Fiction; Religion -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
"Himself is waiting you; Himself is waiting you; Himself is waiting
you"--lower and even lower, a faint whisper of music, the little peal
rang on. But she did not believe ... Yet for centuries on centuries,
Paul had said, men had thought ... Martyrs had died ... Saints had
seen.... He? Well, a Baby.... Like her last-arrived sister, tiny,
puckered, remote, dear. He? Suppose that that small white circle was
a little window, through which her soul could pass; could pass and
pass; to His embrace, His tone, His heart.... Slowly, very slowly,
Edith Thornton, who envied dear, eager, clever Paul since he had so
much to give, slipped forward en her knees, and closed her eyes.
And then, in the fragrant, gleaming silence of her mind, there arose a
little fear. She watched it come. It was very small at first, like a
man's hand. Only it grew and grew, till it filled all her gaze and
thundered in her soul's ear. Wave on wave it thundered, thundered and
broke, this overwhelming mastery of fear. And she knew quite well why
she was afraid. Her soul had passed through the little door, but it
was lonely there. "Paul, Paul, dear, dear Paul!" she cried, striving
so hard to see him. "Paul!"--the echoes went wandering down the
corridors of her soul, and came reverberating back to her. She was
alone--alone. And the light died, and the music died, and she was very
sore afraid.
And then He came. Walking through the dark He came, seeking her. She
saw Him, only there was no sight. The very scent of His robes was
sweet, only there was no smell. He spoke, too; clearer than the noise
of the water-floods that drowned her, louder than the great winds
roaring through the lashed Hursley pines, she heard Him, only there was
no sound. And she knew what He said, only there was no thought. "It
is I," He said, "I, I; be not afraid."
She gripped the feet of Him, and marvelled as she did so that they
should tread her down so ruthlessly, so immeasurably happy. And she
cried up to Him--"Paul, Paul! Oh, Master, give me Paul! Don't take
Paul away! I can't live without Paul!"
"Daughter," He said, "it is I--I; be not afraid."
She sobbed; she choked with sobs. "Paul!" she tried to cry, "Oh
Master, dear dear Master, give me Paul--Paul!" And the sound, that was
no sound, echoed away and away and out on great mountain places, vast
and bare. The White Feet slowly died between her hands. She looked
up. "It is I," He whispered, bending over her. She looked right into
His eyes, down, down, down. She had not thought death could be so
unutterably sweet.
She felt a hand on her shoulder. "Can I do anything for you?" said a
man's voice. "Please excuse me asking, only you seemed in trouble."
She felt ashamed because her face was wet with tears. Also she did not
know what to say. Long afterwards, she realised that what she had said
was a second miracle. "Father, please," she said, like a child, "I
want to--to come in."
(3)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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