At first he had lashed himself with scorn, remembering his infatuation
for the woman he had married. He felt something of the indignant
astonishment of the small boy who imagines himself catching a second
attack of measles, before he discovers it is scarlet fever. But it
took him only a brief time to realise that the passion inspired by Ora
Blake was so much deeper and more various than the blind subservience
to Nature that had driven him to Ida (who had not the least idea of
being a tool of Nature herself) that it was far more dangerous than
the first inevitable attack of youthful madness could ever be. It
humiliated his pride to have been the mere victim of the race, the
rudimentary male swept into matrimony by the first woman who combined
superlative femaleness with virtue. Then he wondered if he could have
loved Ora at that time; he certainly felt ten years older today.
The word love brought him to his senses. It was formidable and
definite. While he had believed himself to be in the throes of a second
fever caught from a beautiful woman’s concordant magnetism, he had felt
merely disgusted at his weakness, not in the least disloyal to his
closest friend, whom he knew no woman could tempt him to betray. But he
realised with hideous abruptness that if he were thrown with Ora Blake
for any length of time she would become so necessary to him through
the comprehensive appeal, which he only half understood, that he no
more could pluck her out of him by the roots, as men disposed of the
superficial passion when it became inconvenient, than he could tear the
veins out of his hill with his hands.
He had felt the danger dimly when with her, although he had made up his
mind even then to get her out of Montana as quickly as possible. He
vowed anew, with the first sensation of panic he had ever experienced,
that the same sky should not cover them a week hence. He knew his
influence over Mark Blake.
Then he made a deliberate attempt to banish the subject from his mind,
ordering his thoughts to their favorite haunts underground. But one
little insidious tract, so difficult to control in all brains still
young and human, showed a disposition to create startling and vivid
pictures, to dream intensely, to cast up this woman’s face, fling it
into his consciousness, with an automatic regularity that was like a
diabolical challenge to his haughty will.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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