Was this the solution of her problem? A marriage that would demonstrate
to Gregory Compton that her moment of seeming weakness was mere
coquetry; a marriage that would raise her an immeasurable social
distance above him; a permanent dissociation from everything that could
remind her of him and this terrible obsession that had disorganised
her being, reduced her to the grovelling level of the women whose
dependence on the favour of man she had always despised?
When she reflected that her revenge would fall flat, Gregory’s not
being the order of mind to appreciate the social pre-eminence of a
titled race, she ground her teeth, again. There was nothing left but
to consider herself. Should she choose the part that not only would
exalt her station and fill her life with the multifarious interests of
a British peeress, but banish this man in time from her memory; or stay
on and alternate torments with moments of indescribable sweetness when
he smiled upon her? And might she not yet manipulate him into her net
if she continued to play the waiting game? Or would she go wholly to
pieces the first time they were alone together?
Her pride strangled at this possibility and brought her to her feet.
The blood was still boiling in her head, she knew what nerves were for
the first time in her life. She made up her mind to go out and walk. In
this part of the town she was not likely to meet anyone.
She found another hat, put on a warm coat, and let herself out of the
house. It was ten o’clock. All the West Side, no doubt, was at the
Country Club.
For a time she walked rapidly and aimlessly, trying to focus her mind
on other things. But when a woman is in love and the path is stony, she
is obsessed much as people are that suffer from shock and reiterate
ceaselessly the circumstances of its cause. Her brain seethed with
hate, longed for revenge. Nothing would have gratified her more than to
take the secret revenge of infidelity. Many a woman has taken a lover
for the satisfaction of laughing to herself at her husband’s dishonour;
to dishonour being the most satisfactory of all vengeance, whether open
or concealed.
She realised abruptly that her thoughts had led her unconsciously to
the door of John Mowbray’s lodgings. The flat had been lent him by a
banker to whom he had brought a letter from his brother, and who had
gone East immediately after his arrival; the banker’s wife lived in
Southern California. It occupied the second story of a house in West
Broadway and had its own entrance on a side street. Mowbray had given a
tea there a day or two before, and Ida had presided.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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