She knew Mark’s ambitions. Washington was his goal, and he was by no
means averse from being governor of his state meanwhile. Nor would he
have been a genuine American boy, born in the traditional log cabin--it
had been a log cabin as a matter of fact--if he had not cherished
secret designs on the White House. In all this, did it prove to be more
or less, she could be of incalculable assistance to him. And she was
the more determined to render this assistance because she had accepted
his bounty and was unable to love him.
She concluded with some cynicism that the account would be squared,
being by no means blind to what she had done for him already in the
way of social position and prestige; still, it was not only his right,
but a penance demanded by her self-respect. She was living the most
unidealistic life possible to a woman of her pride and temperament, but
she would redeem it as far as lay in her power.
She moved impatiently, her brows puzzled again, and something like
fear in her heart. What did this slow awakening portend? Why had she
instinctively held it back with all her strength, quite successfully
until her new-born vanity, with its infinite suggestions, had quickened
it suddenly into imperious expression?
Certainly she was conscious of no desire for a more idealistic union
with another man. If she had inherited a fortune, she would have
married no one; not then, at all events; nothing had been further from
her desire. She would have lived in Europe and travelled in many lands.
Beyond a doubt her hunger for the knowledge that lies in books would
have been satiated long since, never would have assumed a discrepant
importance. She would be uniformly developed, and she would have met
many men. With the double passport of birth and wealth, added to the
fine manner she owed to her Southern mother, her natural vivacity and
magnetism, and a physical endowment that she now knew could have been
trained into positive beauty, she would have had her pick of men. And
when a woman may choose of the best, with ample time at her disposal,
it was incredible that the true mate, the essential companion, should
not be found before it was too late. Most marriages are makeshifts; but
for the fortunate few, with the intelligence to wait, and the developed
instinct to respond, there was always the possibility of the perfect
union.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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