Ora was recalling this conversation as she sat in her bedroom on the
following evening. Her elemental yet uncannily sophisticated friend
had a way of crashing chords out of jealously hidden nerves, which no
exercise of will could disconnect from the logical parts of the brain.
If it were true that what her now rampant ego, too long starved, really
demanded was man and romance, she wished she had let herself run to
seed until it was too late to reclaim her lost beauty and adventure
into temptation. But a glance into the mirror deprived her of any
further desire to join the vast sisterhood of unattractive females.
Moreover, she had faith in the dominance of her will and common sense,
and if her beauty would help her to the mental contacts she craved with
brilliant and interesting men, far be it from her to execrate it.
She dismissed the mood of self-analysis impatiently and opened her
wardrobe, although half inclined not to attend the Prom. She was
one of the patronesses, but her presence was not essential. It was
pre-eminently the night of nights for young folks--brownies and
squabs--and the absence of a married woman of twenty-six would pass
unrecorded. Not a man in Butte interested her personally, nor was she
in a frame of mind to be interested by any of the too specialised
products of the West. Nor was she inordinately fond of dancing; there
really was no object in going to this party save to witness the début
and possible triumph of her protégée.
But she felt something more than indifference toward this party. It
was as if a gong sounded a warning in the depths of her brain--in her
subconsciousness, perhaps, where instinct, that child of ancestral
experience, dwelt. But even while she hesitated she knew that she
should go, and she took one of her new gowns from a long drawer, and
then began to arrange her hair.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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