Adventure stories; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Love stories; Young men -- Fiction
"T'morrer mornin', Joel!" said Mr. Shrig, taking up the reins; and
flicking the horse, away we went at a sharp trot.
"Do you propose to stay the night at Tonbridge, Mr. Shrig?"
"Vy--it's all accordin' to Number Vun, sir. Number Vun set out for
Tonbridge but might be goin' further; v'ether 'e does or no, depends
on Number Two."
"I fear I do not understand you, Mr. Shrig."
"Vich is 'ardly to be expected, sir. Y' see, perfeshionally speakin',
I'm arter two birds as I 'opes to ketch alive an' dead."
"But how can you catch anything alive and dead?"
"Veil, then, let's say vun alive an' t' other 'un dead."
"Ah--what kind of birds?"
"Downy vuns, sir--'specially Number Vun!" and here my companion smiled
and nodded benignantly.
Mr. Shrig drove rapidly, threading his way through the traffic with
the ease of an experienced Jehu, and soon in place of dingy roofs and
chimneys my eyes were blessed with the green of trees shading the
familiar road which led, as I knew, to those leafy solitudes where one
"might walk with God." And now there rushed upon me a memory of
Diana--Diana as she once had been--my Goddess of the Silent Places;
and I yearned passionately for the irrevocable past and despaired in
bitter hopelessness of the present and the long and lonely future.
From these gloomy thoughts I was aroused by the sound of my
companion's voice:
"I am a-goin' on this here hexpe-dition, sir, with the expectation--I
may say with the 'ope sir, of finding a body--"
"A body of what?" I enquired absently.
"Lord, Mr. Werricker, sir, vat should it be but a hum-ing body--a
corpse, sir."
"Horrible!" I exclaimed. "Who is it? Where did he die?"
"Vell, sir," said Mr. Shrig, consulting a ponderous watch, "to the
best o' my judgment 'e ain't dead yet, no, not yet, I fancy, but two
hours--say three--should do 'is business neat an' comfortable; yes--in
three hours 'e should be as nice a corpse as ever you might vish to
see--if the con-clusions as I've drawed is correct. An' talkin' o'
murder, sir--"
"Ah!" I exclaimed. "Is it murder?"
"Sir," answered Mr. Shrig, "speakin' without prejudice, I answer you,
it's a-goin' to be, or I'm a frog-eatin' Frenchman, vich God forbid,
sir. An' speakin' o' murder, here's my attitood towards same--there's
murder as is murder an' there's murder as is justifiable 'omicide. If
you commits the fact for private wengeance, windictiveness or personal
gain, then 't is murder damned an' vith a werry big he-M; but if so be
you commits the fact to rid yourself or friends an' the world in
general of evil, then I 'old 't is a murder justifiable. Consequently
it will go to my 'eart to appre-'end this here murderer."
"Who is he?" I demanded.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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