Francis! In the light of her new vision, the man no longer seemed
despicable. Broken, foolishly ashamed of physical infirmity, irresolute,
unwilling or unable to work—one thing, at least, he kept sacred.
“Living like a monk!” Her father’s words held the semblance of a sneer;
but she, Patricia, understood.
And for the first time, understanding him, she respected this man.
Intuition gave her the sure clue to his mind: like herself, Francis
Gordon had climbed the pinnacles, seen the sex-thing whole. As to her,
so to Francis Gordon, Love had vouchsafed the inner meanings; and now,
he could accept no substitute for Love. Either the one woman,—pal and
childbearer, partner and mistress; or this, the lonely cottage among the
lonely woods. . . .
But intuition gave Patricia no clue to the heart of the problem, to the
man’s renunciation. Blind to everything except her own immediate
feelings, she saw only this straggling cottage which might have been a
home—this house without its woman. A girl in America! In her ignorance,
Patricia hated “that girl.” That girl must know Francis loved her. She
corresponded with him; sent him post-cards when he didn’t write
regularly. Then why didn’t she marry him? Obviously, because “that girl”
was a flirt, a light woman, unworthy of love. . . .
By the time she reached the low flint-wall which divided Glen Cottage
from the main-road, Patricia had worked herself up into a fine state of
resolution. She would talk to Francis; warn him against “that girl” who
was ruining his life, warn him against himself. . . .
But, unfortunately for resolution, Francis Gordon was out.
Prout, standing in the gabled doorway, told her that “Mister Peter had
come for Mister Francis, and they’d gone up to Sunflowers.”
Patricia paused for one irresolute moment. Then she said, “Do you think
you could get me a cup of tea, Prout, I’m feeling rather tired?”
“Certainly, Madam. Where will you have it, Madam? In the writing-room?”
“Yes, Prout. That will do nicely.”
She laid down stick and gauntlets; passed through the sombre
oak-panelled hall-way, up the broad shallow staircase, into the long
room above. “Here,” thought Patricia, “he ought to be writing.” She
looked at the great desk under the window, across it to the swelling
turf of Arlsfield Park: she looked at the cushioned settle by the
writing-desk, at the fire in the Morgan-tiled grate, at the
black-lacquer chairs, at the low bookshelves against the
cream-distempered walls, at the écru velvet curtains, the maroon carpet
on the floor. Then she walked deliberately to the desk; picked up
Beatrice’s photograph.
“A fine face,” thought Patricia, “a good face.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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