Petty Troubles of Married Life, CompleteBalzac, Honoré de
General
Petty Troubles of Married Life, Complete
Balzac, Honoré de
Marriage
Caroline pets Madame de Fischtaminel with all the tenderness that the
African army is now bestowing upon Abd-el-Kader: she is as solicitous
in her behalf as a physician is anxious to avoid curing a rich
hypochondriac. Between the two, Caroline and Madame de Fischtaminel
invent occupations for dear Adolphe, when neither of them desire the
presence of that demigod among their penates. Madame de Fischtaminel and
Caroline, who have become, through the efforts of Madame Foullepointe,
the best friends in the world, have even gone so far as to learn and
employ that feminine free-masonry, the rites of which cannot be made
familiar by any possible initiation.
If Caroline writes the following little note to Madame de Fischtaminel:
“Dearest Angel:
“You will probably see Adolphe to-morrow, but do not keep him too long,
for I want to go to ride with him at five: but if you are desirous of
taking him to ride yourself, do so and I will take him up. You ought to
teach me your secret for entertaining used-up people as you do.”
Madame de Fischtaminel says to herself: “Gracious! So I shall have that
fellow on my hands to-morrow from twelve o’clock to five.”
Axiom.--Men do not always know a woman’s positive request when they see
it; but another woman never mistakes it: she does the contrary.
Those sweet little beings called women, and especially Parisian women,
are the prettiest jewels that social industry has invented. Those who
do not adore them, those who do not feel a constant jubilation at seeing
them laying their plots while braiding their hair, creating special
idioms for themselves and constructing with their slender fingers
machines strong enough to destroy the most powerful fortunes, must be
wanting in a positive sense.
On one occasion Caroline takes the most minute precautions. She writes
the day before to Madame Foullepointe to go to St. Maur with Adolphe,
to look at a piece of property for sale there. Adolphe would go to
breakfast with her. She aids Adolphe in dressing. She twits him with the
care he bestows upon his toilet, and asks absurd questions about Madame
Foullepointe.
“She’s real nice, and I think she is quite tired of Charles: you’ll
inscribe her yet upon your catalogue, you old Don Juan: but you won’t
have any further need of Chaumontel’s affair; I’m no longer jealous,
you’ve got a passport. Do you like that better than being adored?
Monster, observe how considerate I am.”
So soon as her husband has gone, Caroline, who had not omitted, the
previous evening, to write to Ferdinand to come to breakfast with her,
equips herself in a costume which, in that charming eighteenth century
so calumniated by republicans, humanitarians and idiots, women of
quality called their fighting-dress.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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