Phantastes: A Faerie Romance for Men and WomenMacDonald, George
Science
Phantastes: A Faerie Romance for Men and Women
MacDonald, George
Fantasy fiction
How I got through this dreary part of my travels, I do not know. I do
not think I was upheld by the hope that any moment the light might
break in upon me; for I scarcely thought about that. I went on with a
dull endurance, varied by moments of uncontrollable sadness; for more
and more the conviction grew upon me that I should never see the white
lady again. It may seem strange that one with whom I had held so little
communion should have so engrossed my thoughts; but benefits conferred
awaken love in some minds, as surely as benefits received in others.
Besides being delighted and proud that _my_ songs had called the
beautiful creature to life, the same fact caused me to feel a
tenderness unspeakable for her, accompanied with a kind of feeling of
property in her; for so the goblin Selfishness would reward the angel
Love. When to all this is added, an overpowering sense of her beauty,
and an unquestioning conviction that this was a true index to inward
loveliness, it may be understood how it came to pass that my
imagination filled my whole soul with the play of its own multitudinous
colours and harmonies around the form which yet stood, a gracious
marble radiance, in the midst of _its_ white hall of phantasy. The time
passed by unheeded; for my thoughts were busy. Perhaps this was also in
part the cause of my needing no food, and never thinking how I should
find any, during this subterraneous part of my travels. How long they
endured I could not tell, for I had no means of measuring time; and
when I looked back, there was such a discrepancy between the decisions
of my imagination and my judgment, as to the length of time that had
passed, that I was bewildered, and gave up all attempts to arrive at
any conclusion on the point.
A gray mist continually gathered behind me. When I looked back towards
the past, this mist was the medium through which my eyes had to strain
for a vision of what had gone by; and the form of the white lady had
receded into an unknown region. At length the country of rock began to
close again around me, gradually and slowly narrowing, till I found
myself walking in a gallery of rock once more, both sides of which I
could touch with my outstretched hands. It narrowed yet, until I was
forced to move carefully, in order to avoid striking against the
projecting pieces of rock. The roof sank lower and lower, until I was
compelled, first to stoop, and then to creep on my hands and knees. It
recalled terrible dreams of childhood; but I was not much afraid,
because I felt sure that this was my path, and my only hope of leaving
Fairy Land, of which I was now almost weary.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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