The letter was from the Headquarters of the Rising Sun Detective
Agency, and was brutally frank in denouncing the Bald Impostor as an
impostor, and painfully plain in describing him as bald. It described
in the simplest terms his mode of getting money and it warned Mr. Gubb
to be on the outlook for him "as he is supposed to be working in your
district at present." The Bald Impostor gasped. "A number of victims
have organized," continued the letter, "what they call the Easy Marks'
Association of America and have posted a reward of fifty dollars for
the arrest of the fraud."
The Bald Impostor glanced toward Philo Gubb and hastily turned the
letter upside down. When Mr. Gubb returned, the Bald Impostor was
rubbing the palms of his hands together and smiling.
"My name, Mr. Gubb," he said, "is Allwood Burns. I am a detective. I
have heard of your wonderful work in the so-called Muffins-Mustard
case."
"Waffles-Mustard," said Mr. Gubb.
"I should say Waffles," said the Bald Impostor hastily. "I consider it
one of the most remarkable cases of detective acumen on record. We in
the Rising Sun Detective Agency were delighted. It was a proof that
the methods of our Correspondence School of Detecting were not short
of the best."
Philo Gubb stared at his visitor with unconcealed admiration.
"Are you out from the Rising Sun Deteckative Agency yourself?" he
asked.
The Bald Impostor smiled.
"I wrote you a letter yesterday," he said. "If you have not received
it yet you will soon, but I can give you the contents here and now. A
certain impostor is going about the country--"
Philo Gubb picked up the letter and glanced at the signature. It was
indeed signed "Allwood Burns." Mr. Gubb extended his hand again and
once more shook the hand of his visitor--this time far more heartily.
"Most glad, indeed, to meet your acquaintance, Mr. Burns," said Philo
Gubb heartily. "It is a pleasure to meet anybody from the offices of
the Rising Sun Deteckative Agency. And if you ever see the man that
wrote the 'Complete Correspondence Course of Deteckating,' I wish--"
The false Mr. Burns smiled.
"I wrote it," he said modestly.
"I am _most_ very glad to meet you, sir!" exclaimed Philo Gubb, and
again he shook his visitor's hand. "Because--"
"Ah, yes, because--" queried the Bald Impostor pleasantly.
"Because," said Philo Gubb, "there's a question I want to ask. I refer
to Lesson Seven, 'Petty Thievery, Detecting Same, Charges Therefor.' I
have had some trouble with 'Charges Therefor.'"
"Indeed? Let me see the lesson, please," said the Bald Impostor.
"'The charges for such services,'" Philo Gubb read, pointing to the
paragraph with his long forefinger, "'should be not less than ten
dollars per diem.' That's what it says, ain't it?"
"It does," said the Bald Impostor.
"Well, Mr. Burns," said Philo Gubb, "I took on a job of chicken-thief
detecting, and I had to detect for two diems to do it, and that would
be twenty dollars, wouldn't it?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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