During the rest of that day Jesus sat musing: and at one time he seemed to be sad, but at another time to rejoice. But even when he was sad, there always appeared a joy beneath the sadness; so that his sadness was but as the cloud that dappleth the side of a mountain, the summit whereof shineth bright in the sunlight. For it was the nature of Jesus always to be cheerful and to rejoice; insomuch that peace and joy seemed to go forth from him to all men and things around him, and from them to come back with increase to him again. But now he was sorrowful, as we gathered, because of the hardness of heart of the Pharisees. For howsoever they might outwardly dissemble, yet did he discern their hearts, that they were inwardly grieved, yea, at the goodness of God; wherefore now indeed, after this second token of their hardness, it seemed to be indeed the will of God that the Good News should be of no avail unto the Scribes, save only to make their eyes blind, and their hearts fat, and their ears hard of hearing. For this cause our Master sorrowed: but for some other cause he rejoiced, or seemed in expectation of some joy to come. But as for the rest of us, we disputed among ourselves touching this new power which Jesus had brought into the world; for it seemed more than human, and such as no prophet before him had ever used or so much as sought from God. Only Judas was silent more than was his custom: and he seemed disturbed and doubtful, as one uncertain of his path and not knowing whether to go forward or backward. For when Nathanael spake about our Master’s authority to forgive sins, and how in the day of Redemption he would destroy the Evil Nature, then Judas at times heard him gladly, as if he earnestly desired that this should be true; but at another time he scoffed and said that “No forgiveness of sins would drive out Herod from Tiberias, nor the Romans from Jerusalem.” CHAPTER XII By this time the autumn was come round, and it wanted but a few days to the tenth day of the month Tisri, which is the Great Day of Atonement. Now so it was that, when we arose on a certain morning (in the first week, as I remember, of the month Tisri), behold, Jesus was not in the house, and when we sought him, we found him on the shore musing; insomuch that at first he was not aware of our presence. But when he saw us, he bade Simon Peter prepare his fishing‐boat, for he desired to go out into the deep. So Simon Peter and Andrew launched the boat, and I with them; and Jesus went on board, and there he sat, still musing, while we made ready the tackling and the nets. While we busied ourselves herein, many of the sailors and fishermen of the town came down to the coast and began to launch their vessels; for the day was fair for fishing.