Philochristus: Memoirs of a Disciple of the LordAbbott, Edwin Abbott
Religion
Philochristus: Memoirs of a Disciple of the Lord
Abbott, Edwin Abbott
Christian fiction; Jesus Christ -- Fiction
Now up to the very last I had not given up all hope that Jesus might yet
come down from the cross, shewing forth some mighty work worthy of a
Messiah; nor did I indeed know how much hope I had had, till this moment
wherein all hope perished. But now, when I turned myself to go away from
the cross and to leave Jesus for ever, all things seemed ended, and I felt
as one alone in the world; yea, I knew not whether there were a God, or
whether I myself lived, or all life were not a dream. Thus I went forward,
as one in a trance; when on a sudden I heard the voice of Hezekiah the
Scribe: “Art thou not yet convinced of thy folly? Behold, it is written
that thou shouldest not put thy trust in any child of man. For when the
breath of man goeth forth, he shall turn again to his earth, and then all
his thoughts perish; even as this thy master, the false prophet, hath
perished. But blessed is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help, who
keepeth His promises for ever. But thy master, how keepeth he his
promises? Unless perchance,” and here he lowered his voice and looked
jealously at me, “unless (as is reported to us) ye Galileans hope to steal
his body from the grave and so to feign that he is risen; but that shall
not be. For though your patron Joseph of Arimathea may have his will to‐
day, yet will we take good order that we have our will to‐morrow. For the
body of a false prophet deserveth not honourable burial.”
I could endure his words no longer, but ran past him as one mad. But, when
I was now rid of his presence, passing back into the city by the western
gate, my mind ran on all such things as I had done with Jesus on the day
before, and my feet turned of themselves toward the house where we had
kept the Passover together. Thence, but still as one in a dream, scarce
knowing what I did, I bent my way towards the gate of the valley of
Kidron. Here I was musing how, but yesterday, in this very place, I had
walked by the side of Jesus, even at his right hand, and how the touch of
his arm had held me up in my stumbling; when behold, I started back as if
I had seen a spirit. For the voice of one close to me in the twilight
whispered with an hissing sound, “He is not dead.” I looked, and behold,
Judas stood before me. His face was pale and his eyes glared, and passion
so wrought his features that they moved and quivered, as if against his
will, like unto the features of one possessed by Satan. When I drew back
from him, at first he would have stayed me; but seeing that I loathed him,
he also drew back and said, “Nay, be not afraid, I cannot betray another.
But he is not dead. Hast thou not seen him?” I marvelled at him, but said
nothing, only shaking my head. Then Judas replied, “Think not that I have
slain him; he liveth: he hunteth me to death; these three times have I
seen him. I have not slain him. Why then doth he yet hunt me? But thou,
thou didst love him, be thou at peace with me.” Saying these words, he
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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