"Yes, I was here all the time," I cry, imploringly, "and I heard
every word. I was lying on this sofa, and nothing escaped me. Of
course you will never forgive me for it, but indeed I did not
mean to listen."
"Oh, Phyllis?"
There is such a world of reproach in her tone that I become
distracted. I move towards her and break into a speech of the
most incoherent description, my words tailing from me with the
rapidity of desperation.
"Yes, it is true," I say. "You may look at me as if you hated me,
but what was I to do? When first you came in I was in a dozy,
half sleepy sort of state, and not until you and Chandos were in
the very middle of your discussion did I fully awake to the
horrors of my situation. Had I declared myself then, it surely
would have been worse; and, besides, I hoped, I believed you
would have been kind to him at the end, and dreaded lest my
unexpected appearance should put a stop to his proposal.
However"--pathetically--"I suppose you will never forgive me."
"Oh, Phyllis, it is all over now!" is poor Bebe's unlooked-for
reply, as she throws herself into my arms, with a burst of grief.
She is forgetful of all but her trouble. How paltry a thing in
comparison with it is my small misdemeanor!
"No, no," I reply, soothingly, patting the back of her neck,
which is all I can get at. "Remember the very last thing he
said--that it would be 'impossible' to forget you."
"Ah! so he said. But when he has time to reflect will see how
cold and detestable were my words. He will be glad of his escape
from any one so unloving. I myself wonder now, Phyllis, how I
could have so spoken to him."
"I could have killed you as I listened," I say, vindictively.
"How you brought yourself to behave so badly to the dear fellow
is more than I can understand. And he looked so nice all the
time, and was so delightfully in earnest! Oh, I know I would have
given in long before he had time to say one-half what he said to
you. Bebe, what made you so cold? I could have gone in and shaken
you with all my heart."
"I wish you had," replies she, dolefully. "Yet, perhaps things
are better as they are. At all events, he cannot think meanly of
me. I have shown him that, whatever else I may be, I am not a
mere money-lover."
"Well, for all that, I think it a foolish thing to cut off one's
nose to vex one's face," return I, with much truth and more
vulgarity.
"I am not vexing any one," says Bebe.
"Yes, you are. You meant to vex Lord Chandos, and you succeeded.
And you are vexing yourself dreadfully. And all for what? For the
miserable thing called pride. Now, I never had any of that
troublesome commodity about me, and I believe the want of it adds
greatly to one's enjoyment."
"Had I accepted him I would have been wretched," murmurs she,
with a sigh. Then, breaking down again: "And now that I have
refused him, I am wretched too; so there is no comfort anywhere."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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