"Do you imagine you are pleasing me by making this request?" he
exclaims, angrily, glancing down at me as I stand staring at him,
my head barely reaching his shoulder. Reproach and entreaty are
in my uplifted eyes, but they do not soften him. "Do you think
you are offering me compensation? Pray do not for a moment
believe I am either hurt or annoyed by your behavior of this
evening. Why should I? You are not the only woman in the world
who has suddenly developed a talent for flirtations."
"Marmaduke, what are you saying? Of what are you accusing me?"
I am nearly in tears by this time, and cannot find words to argue
or deny the horrid imputation of coquetry.
"Do not let me stand in the way of your amusements. Of course
when I chose to marry a child--and a child without a spark of
affection for me--I must learn not to cavil at consequences.
Understand, Phyllis, it is a matter of indifference to me whether
you drive home with Mark Gore or any other man. Do not give
yourself any annoyance, under a mistaken impression that you may
be gratifying me. Take your Choice of an escort."
"I have taken it," I say, dolefully, "but the one I want won't
take me. Marmaduke, how unkind you are! Do you then, _refuse_, to
drive me home?"
"If you insist on sitting beside me you can do so," he yields,
ungraciously. "You will find it stupid, as I am in no mood for
conversation, and have no desire for your company."
"Nevertheless I will force it on you," I cry, with some faint
spark of pride and indignation. "Though you hate me, I will
return with no one but you."
And so it is settled, and soon we are driving side by side under
the brilliant dancing stars.
It is a long, long drive--much longer, it seems to me, in the
chill night than in the glare of day--and not one word does my
companion speak. Once, when the moon rushes Out with a white
gleam from behind the scudding clouds, I take courage to look at
him; but he is biting his mustache, and wears upon his brow a
heavy frown that completely freezes on my lips the few silly
words I would have uttered.
Once, too, as his hand lies bare upon his knee, I venture to
place my fingers timidly upon it, but he shakes them off, under a
plain pretense of adjusting the reins; and thus, twice repulsed,
I have no heart to make a further advance.
So, in dead silence, we make our journey, listening absently, to
the chatter of those behind and the sound of the horses' feet as
they bravely cover the ground.
In silence we reach our home, in silence he helps me down, and
with the sorriest pain at my heart it has ever yet known I go
upstairs and shut myself into my room.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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