"Well, what of that?" I cry, impatiently; "it was a mistake, I
think, but a kindly one. He was always thinking of my happiness.
It was perhaps a worse shock to him than it was to me. He had no
faintest thought of her being alive until she stood before him."
He is silent. Something in his manner, in the very way he keeps
his eyes bent resolutely upon the ground, chills me. Upon his
face a curiously determined expression has gathered and grown.
"No faintest thought," I repeat, sharply, watching him now as
keenly as he watched me before; "of course he had not. He had
heard of her death years before he ever met me. Had he even
doubted on the subject, his treachery would have been unequalled.
But you cannot think that: it is impossible you can think it:
therefore say so!"
Still he is silent--ominously so, as it seems to me. His eyes are
still downcast; the evil determination in his face is stronger;
his cane is digging deep furrows in the sandy loam.
"Why don't you speak," cried I, fiercely; "what do you mean by
standing there silent, with that hateful expression upon your
face? Do you mean to insinuate that there was a doubt in his
mind? Look at me, and answer truly. Do you believe Marmaduke knew
that woman to be living when he married me?"
I am half mad with suspense and fear. Placing both my hands upon
his arm, I put forth all my puny strength, and actually compel
him, strong man as he is, to meet my gaze.
For a moment he hesitates--a long moment--and then the right
triumphs. Though in his own mind he is firmly convinced that can
he but endue my mind with this doubt of Marmaduke's integrity he
will substantially aid his own cause, still, being a gentleman
born and bred, he finds a difficulty in bringing his lips to
utter the miserable falsehood.
"No: I don't believe he did know," he answers, doggedly.
"You are sure of this?" I ask, feverishly.
"I would give my oath of it," he replies, with increased
sullenness.
"Coward!" murmur I bitterly, taking my hands from his arm, and
turning away.
The excitement of the past few minutes has been terrible to my
weakened frame; I feel a vague dizziness, a coldness creeping
over me. I am a good half-mile from home: should I faint, there
will be nothing for it but for Sir Mark to carry me there, and to
have that man's arms round me for so long a time is more than I
could endure. The bare thought of it nerves me to action.
Hurriedly drawing a pin from some secret fold of my dress, I press
it deep into my arm, so deep that presently I feel a warm
sluggish drop ooze out and trickle slowly down my flesh, Until it
sinks into the lining of my sleeve. The little dull pain that
follows rouses me, and puts an end to all fear of my becoming
insensible.
I draw a long breath and gradually awaken to the fact that my
companion is again speaking.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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