"Have you quite done?" say I, in a tone treacherously calm. "Have
you anything more to say? No? Are you sure? Now listen to me.
Even if the circumstances were totally different--if I were free
as air--if you were the last man on earth I would not marry you.
Whether I do or do not love Marmaduke, is a question I decline to
answer to you. At all events, to my own way of thinking, I am
his wife now, and shall ever remain so--until death divides us.
But as to whether or not I love you, I feel no hesitation about
answering that. I look upon you as the lowest, the meanest of
men, to come here behind your friend's back to traduce him, and
insinuate lies about him, so as to do him injury in the eyes of
the woman he loves. I loathe and detest you, with all my heart."
I am staring him valiantly in the face as I utter these
denunciations. My cheeks are crimson with rage, my eyes are
flashing; for the moment all my old strength, and more than my
old spirit have returned to me. I have worked myself through the
force of my eloquence into such a passion that I literally
tremble from head to foot. I feel humbled and insulted in my own
eyes. All these months of lonely weariness have failed to bring
home to me the fact that I am not a married woman. This man's
complete acceptance of it has maddened me.
"Thank you," says he, slowly; "but pray do not stop yet. There
must be something more you wish to say. Don't mind me; don't take
my feelings into consideration."
"I don't," I reply, viciously stamping my foot. "But, as it
happens, I have said all I ever wish to say to you. You may take
from my lips now the very last words I shall condescend to utter
to you. Leave me; I hate and despise you!"
"I will," cries he, furiously, losing sight of all the
self-imposed restraint that has bound him daring the last fifteen
minutes. "But I shall take something else too. As you decree we
shall part here never to meet again, I shall at least kiss you in
farewell, for the insolence you have shown me."
His face is full of anger and settled purpose; he is white to the
lips; his eyes gleam steadily. There is no sign of wavering or
relenting about him.
Oh, how I regret my intemperate speech. An awful fear seizes hold
of me. I can almost fancy his committing murder with that look in
his eyes. I forget all but a wild desire to escape, and, breaking
from him, I rush madly towards the bare, unwalled cliff that
overhangs the sea.
But a very little space divides me from the edge, as his hand
catches and closes on my arm and drags me roughly backwards.
"Are you mad?" he pants hoarsely, all the passion gone from his
face, leaving only cold horror in its place. "Are you out of your
senses? Come home directly. What! would you prefer death to a
kiss from me? At last you have effectually put an end to my
absurd infatuation. I have no great fancy for any woman's
loathing."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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