“Yes, it has its meaning. You think that it may be safely applied to the
wearing of an effective toilet. I wonder if you would think of applying
it to the words you said to me on the last evening I was here?”
It was in a very low tone, and after a long pause, that she said:
“I hope if what I told you Mrs. Haddon said was an inspiration, it was a
good one. I felt that I must tell you, Mr. Courtland, though I fear that
I gave you some pain--great pain. I know what it is to be reminded of an
irreparable loss.”
“Pain--pain?” said he. Then he raised his eyes to hers. “I wonder if
you will ever know what effect your words had upon me, Miss Ayrton?” he
added. “I don’t suppose that you will ever know; but I tell you that
it would be impossible for me ever to cease to think of you as my good
angel.”
She flushed slightly, very slightly, before saying:
“How odd that Ella should call me her good angel, too, on that same
night!”
“And she spoke the truth, if ever truth was spoken,” he cried.
Her face was very serious as she said:
“Of course I don’t understand anything of this, Mr. Courtland.”
“No,” he said; “it would be impossible for you to understand anything
of it. It would be impossible for you to understand how I feel toward
you--how I have felt toward you since you spoke those words in this
room; those words that came to me as the light from heaven came to Saul
of Tarsus; words of salvation. Believe me, I shall never forget them.”
“I am so glad,” said she. “I am glad, though, as I say, I understand
nothing.”
Then there had been a long interval of silence before she had asked him
something further regarding the yachting party.
And now she was lying on her bed trying to recall every word that he had
spoken, and with a dread over her that what he had said would bear out
that terrible suspicion which she had prayed to God to forgive her for
entertaining on that night when Ella had gone home with her husband.
No rumor had reached her ears regarding the closeness of the intimacy
existing between Mr. Courtland and Mrs. Linton; and thus it was that
when that suspicion had come upon her, after Ella had left her, she felt
that she was guilty of something akin to a crime--a horrible breach of
friendship, only to be expiated by tears and prayers.
That terrible thought had been borne upon her as a suggestion to account
for much that she could not understand in the words and the behavior of
Ella during that remarkable evening; and, in spite of her remorse and
her prayers, she could not rid herself of it. It left its impression
upon her mind, upon her heart. Hitherto she had only heard about the way
an unlawful passion sweeps over two people, causing them to fling to the
winds all considerations of home, of husband, of religion, of honor; and
she felt it to be very terrible to be brought face to face with such a
power; it seemed to her as terrible as to be brought face to face with
that personal Satan in whom she believed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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