Well, that showed that she was a woman, at any rate, and he loved her
all the better for her womanliness. He knew very well that if God is a
Figure of Speech with men, the losing of a soul is a figure of speech
with women. The expression means only that they have lost the chance of
drinking a number of cups of tea in drawing rooms whose doors are now
shut to them. That was what Ella meant, no doubt. If she were openly to
set at defiance certain of those laws by the aid of which society
was kept together with a moderate degree of consistency, she would be
treated as an outlaw.
After all, such a fate was not without its bright side. Some happiness
may remain to human beings in that world which is on the hither side of
London drawing rooms; and it would be his aim in life to see that she
had all the happiness that the world could give her.
Pah! He felt his sentiment becoming a trifle brackish. He loved her,
and she loved him. That was more than all the laws and the profits
of society to them. That was the beginning and the end of the whole
matter--the origin of the sin (people called it a sin) and the
exculpation of the sinners. There was nothing more to be said or thought
about the matter. Those who loved would understand. Those who did not
understand would condemn, and the existence of either class was of no
earthly importance to himself or to Ella.
When he awoke on the Thursday morning the feeling of exultation of which
he was conscious was not without a note of depression. So it had been
when the object of his explorations in New Guinea had been attained, and
he looked down at that exquisite thing--that dead splendor at his feet.
He wondered if the attainment of every great object which a man may have
in life brings about a feeling of sadness that almost neutralizes the
exultation. As he picked up his letters he had a fear that among them
there might be one from Ella, telling him that she had come to the
conclusion that she had written too hastily those lines which he had
received on Tuesday--that, on consideration, she was unwilling to lose
her soul for love of him.
No such letter, however, was among his correspondence. (Could it be
possible that he was disappointed on account of this?) He received
an intimation from Berlin of the conferring of an order upon him in
recognition of his exploration of a territory in which Germany was so
greatly interested. He received an intimation from Vienna that a
gold medal had been voted to him by one of the learned societies in
recognition of his contributions to biological science. He received an
intimation from his publishers that they had just gone to press with
another thousand (the twelfth) of his book, and he received thirteen
cards of invitation to various functions to take place in from three to
six weeks’ time, but no line did he receive from Ella.
She was his forever and ever, whether her soul would be lost or saved in
consequence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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