Autobiographical fiction; Domestic fiction; Male authors -- Fiction; Men -- Fiction; Psychological fiction
On all sides, the physical world of solid objects now slidingly
displaced itself from around him, and he floated into an ether of
visions; and, starting to his feet with clenched hands and outstaring
eyes at the transfixed face in the air, he ejaculated that wonderful
verse from Dante, descriptive of the two mutually absorbing shapes in
the Inferno:
"Ah! how dost thou change,
Agnello! See! thou art not double now,
Nor only one!"
BOOK V.
MISGIVINGS AND PREPARATIONS.
I.
It was long after midnight when Pierre returned to the house. He had
rushed forth in that complete abandonment of soul, which, in so ardent a
temperament, attends the first stages of any sudden and tremendous
affliction; but now he returned in pallid composure, for the calm spirit
of the night, and the then risen moon, and the late revealed stars, had
all at last become as a strange subduing melody to him, which, though at
first trampled and scorned, yet by degrees had stolen into the windings
of his heart, and so shed abroad its own quietude in him. Now, from his
height of composure, he firmly gazed abroad upon the charred landscape
within him; as the timber man of Canada, forced to fly from the
conflagration of his forests, comes back again when the fires have
waned, and unblinkingly eyes the immeasurable fields of fire-brands that
here and there glow beneath the wide canopy of smoke.
It has been said, that always when Pierre would seek solitude in its
material shelter and walled isolation, then the closet communicating
with his chamber was his elected haunt. So, going to his room, he took
up the now dim-burning lamp he had left there, and instinctively entered
that retreat, seating himself, with folded arms and bowed head, in the
accustomed dragon-footed old chair. With leaden feet, and heart now
changing from iciness to a strange sort of indifference, and a numbing
sensation stealing over him, he sat there awhile, till, like the resting
traveler in snows, he began to struggle against this inertness as the
most treacherous and deadliest of symptoms. He looked up, and found
himself fronted by the no longer wholly enigmatical, but still
ambiguously smiling picture of his father. Instantly all his
consciousness and his anguish returned, but still without power to shake
the grim tranquillity which possessed him. Yet endure the smiling
portrait he could not; and obeying an irresistible nameless impulse, he
rose, and without unhanging it, reversed the picture on the wall.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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