Autobiographical fiction; Domestic fiction; Male authors -- Fiction; Men -- Fiction; Psychological fiction
'Well, then, dear mother, thou art quite as incomprehensible to me as I
to---- '
'Talk faster, Pierre--this calmness freezes me. Tell me; for, by my
soul, something most wonderful must have happened to thee. Thou art my
son, and I command thee. It is not Lucy; it is something else. Tell me.'
'My dear mother,' said Pierre, impulsively moving his chair backward
from the table, 'if thou wouldst only believe me when I say it, I have
really nothing to tell thee. Thou knowest that sometimes, when I happen
to feel very foolishly studious and philosophical, I sit up late in my
chamber; and then, regardless of the hour, foolishly run out into the
air, for a long stroll across the meadows. I took such a stroll last
night; and had but little time left for napping afterward; and what nap
I had I was none the better for. But I won't be so silly again, soon; so
do, dearest mother, stop looking at me, and let us to breakfast.--Dates!
Touch the bell there, sister.'
'Stay, Pierre!--There is a heaviness in this hour. I feel, I know, that
thou art deceiving me;--perhaps I erred in seeking to wrest thy secret
from thee; but believe me, my son, I never thought thou hadst any secret
thing from me, except thy first love for Lucy--and that, my own
womanhood tells me, was most pardonable and right. But now, what can it
be? Pierre, Pierre! consider well before thou determinest upon
withholding confidence from me. I am thy mother. It may prove a fatal
thing. Can that be good and virtuous, Pierre, which shrinks from a
mother's knowledge? Let us not loose hands so, Pierre; thy confidence
from me, mine goes from thee. Now, shall I touch the bell?'
Pierre, who had thus far been vainly seeking to occupy his hands with
his cap and spoon; he now paused, and unconsciously fastened a
speechless glance of mournfulness upon his mother. Again he felt
presentiments of his mother's newly-revealed character. He foresaw the
supposed indignation of her wounded pride; her gradually estranged
affections thereupon; he knew her firmness, and her exaggerated ideas of
the inalienable allegiance of a son. He trembled to think, that now
indeed was come the first initial moment of his heavy trial. But though
he knew all the significance of his mother's attitude, as she stood
before him, intently eying him, with one hand upon the bell-cord; and
though he felt that the same opening of the door that should now admit
Dates, could not but give eternal exit to all confidence between him and
his mother; and though he felt, too, that this was his mother's latent
thought; nevertheless, he was girded up in his well-considered
resolution.
"Pierre, Pierre! shall I touch the bell?"
"Mother, stay!--yes do, sister."
The bell was rung; and at the summons Dates entered; and looking with
some significance at Mrs. Glendinning, said,--"His Reverence has come,
my mistress, and is now in the west parlor."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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