Boys -- Fiction; Cricket -- Fiction; Golf stories; Love stories; Schools -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
"Mean, you insufferable dolt! It means--it means--er, 'energy,'
'verve,' 'dash'--yes, that's it! 'dash'!"
Linklater held up a respectful hand.
"I said 'dash!' sir, the moment the question passed me," he remarked
meekly.
The form roared, and unanimously decided afterwards that "Link was one
up on Braddy." Mr. Bradshaw, after the manner of his kind, reported
Linklater to the Head for "gross impertinence." The Head, who had not
reached his present high position for nothing, took a lenient view of
the case, merely requesting Linklater to refrain in future from humour
during school hours. But for all that Linklater determined to be "even
with Braddy" for reporting him: and so successful was he in his
enterprise that he effectually destroyed his own last chance of leading
a Grandwich Eleven to Lord's.
The schoolboy is an observant animal. Mr. Bradshaw, like most men who
carry method and precision to extremes, was a mass of little
affectations and mannerisms, one of the most curious of which was his
habit of passing his right hand in one comprehensive sweep along his
bald head and down over his face. The boys knew this trick by heart:
Braddy was much addicted to it at moments of mental exaltation,--say,
when standing over a victim and thinking out the details of some
exceptionally galling punishment. Milford tertius, the licensed jester
of the Lower Fourth, had indeed been caned by the Head for a lifelike
imitation of the same, rendered to a delighted pewful of worshippers
during a particularly dull sermon in chapel.
The schoolboy, as we have said, is an observant animal. Very well, then.
One morning Mr. Bradshaw, as he entered his classroom, majestic in cap
and gown, closing the door carefully and lovingly behind him, with all
the cheerful deliberation of a Chief Tormentor who proposes to spend a
merry morning in the torture-chamber, suddenly beheld Linklater stand up
in his place and heave a "Liddell & Scott" (medium size) across the room
at an unsuspecting youth in spectacles, who was busily engaged in
putting the finishing touches to a copy of Greek Iambics.
The book, having reached its destination, rebounded in obedience to one
of the primary laws of mechanics, and fell with a heavy thud upon the
floor. The form, after the first startled flutter, settled down with a
happy sigh to witness the rare spectacle of a volcano in full eruption.
Mr. Bradshaw's eye sparkled. Assuredly the enemy was delivered into his
hand this time. Mounting his rostrum, he stood gazing, almost
affectionately, upon the perpetrator of the outrage, mentally passing in
review all the possibilities of punishment, from expulsion downwards,
and busily caressing his countenance the while.
Presently some one in the form tittered. Then another, and another, and
another. Then the whole room broke into a roar. Mr. Bradshaw, in high
good-humour, allowed them to continue for some time: he wanted to rub it
into Linklater. At last he cleared his throat.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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