According to this rule, a man or woman of large combativeness should
select a partner equally inclined to antagonism; then we should
have--what? the elements of a happy, contented, harmonious life? No;
instead, either a speedy lawsuit for divorce, or a continual domestic
broil, the nearest approach to a mundane purgatory possible. The
selfish, close-fisted, miserly money-catcher must marry a woman
equally sordid and stingy. Then together they could hoard up, for moths
and rust to destroy, or for interested relatives to quarrel over, the
pictorial greenback and the glittering dollar, each scrimping the other
down to the finest point above starvation and freezing, and finally
dying, to be forgotten as soon as dead by their fellow-men, and sent
among the goats at the great assizes. A shiftless spendthrift must
choose for a helpmeet (?) an equally slovenly, thriftless wife. A man
with a crotchet should select a partner with the same morbid fancy.
A man whose whole mental composition gravitates behind his ears, must
find a mate with the same animal disposition. An individual whose mental
organization is sadly unbalanced, is advised to seek for a wife a woman
with the same deficiencies and abnormalities.
Any one can see at a glance the domestic disasters which such a plan
of proceeding would entail. Men and women of unbalanced temperaments
would become more unbalanced. An individual of erroneous tendencies,
instead of having the constant check of the example and admonitions
of a mate of opposite tendencies, would be, by constant example,
hastened onward in his sinful ways. Thus, to all but a very small
proportion of humanity, the married state would be one of infelicity
and degeneration.
And what would be the progeny of such unions? The peculiarities and
propensities of the parents, instead of being modified and perhaps
obliterated in the children by corresponding differences in character,
would be doubly exaggerated. The children of selfish parents would be
thieves; those of spendthrifts, beggars; those of crotchety parents,
monomaniacs; those born of sensual parents, beastly debauchees. A few
generations of such a degenerating process would either exterminate
the race or drive it back to Darwin's ancestral ape.
It must not be inferred, from our strictures upon the theory mentioned,
that we would advocate the opposite course, that is, the contraction
of marriage by individuals of wholly dissimilar tastes, aims, and
temperaments. Such alliances would doubtless be quite as wretched in
their results as those of an opposite character. It is with this as
with nearly all other subjects; the true course lies between the two
extremes. Parties who are negotiating a life partnership should be
careful to assure themselves that there exists a sufficient degree of
congeniality of temperament to make such close and continued
association agreeable.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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