Not often did he receive any comfort from Lady Cramer. Sometimes she
ignored his complaints, sometimes made light of them, generally she told
him that her love ought to more than balance all his other love losses.
But nothing that she said had a tone of reality, nothing was
positive--she was going to stay all winter in Paris, she was coming to
London at Christmas time, she was too sick to go out in one letter, and
the next letter was perhaps only a list of invitations to a variety of
houses and amusements received, but which she had neither accepted nor
declined.
Yet he loved her with a passionate affection, a love full grown in that
one wonderful hour when she made manifest to his suddenly awakened heart
her own love for him. It is said that when love flames before it burns
it dies quickly; but Ian's love, flaming in a moment, had stood within
the past three months all the tests that a capricious, absent woman
could give it. As Christmas approached he was in a fever of expectation,
and he told himself that she would now return to London and redeem all
her promises to him.
He had made no confidant of his love affair with Lady Cramer, and
passion lived long in him, just as fire that is covered lives long. But
Mrs. Caird read his story as clearly as if he had put it into words. And
she was sorry for him, for the man's life had been broken to pieces, and
nothing that had once seemed of great importance to him was now cared
for. One morning near Christmas he packed, with angry haste, all the
papers and books left to him by the late Lord Cramer, and sent them to
the care of the steward at Cramer Hall. Mrs. Caird watched the
proceeding, but she made no remark, and when the carrier came to take
them away she was equally silent. She heard Ian give him a few short,
sharp directions, after which he put some money into his hand and then
went directly to his study.
It was a wretched day, the heavy fog shrouded all things and fused the
melancholy noises of the street into a dull rumble, while a soft
drizzling rain added to the general depression. Through the misty
windows Mrs. Caird watched the man carrying the box to the cart which
would convey it to the railroad station. It was a plain wood box, much
longer than it was wide, and in the dim gray light it looked very like a
coffin. At any rate, it reminded Mrs. Caird of one, and she said to
herself: "It is really a coffin. What wrecked Faith and dead Hopes! What
memories of a life that can never come back it carries away!"
It left the feeling of a funeral with her, and the feeling haunted her
all the day long. Late in the afternoon she went to her room to rest a
while, and she fell asleep and dreamed that the long white box was full
of slain souls, and it cost her a strong physical effort--an effort like
that of removing her clothes--to throw off her mind the uncanny
influence it had established.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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