RISPOLÓZHENSKY. It turns my stomach, Samsón Sílych! By heaven, it does! I'll just take a thimbleful of vodka. But my nature won't stand the other. I have such a weak constitution. USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. Bah! you long-necked goose! Nonsense--much your nature won't stand it! Give it here. I'll pour it down his collar if he won't drink it! RISPOLÓZHENSKY. No fair, Ustinya Naúmovna! That ain't nice for a lady to do. Samsón Sílych, I can't, sir! Would I have refused it? He! he! he! What kind of a blockhead am I, that I should do anything so rude? I've seen high society, I know how to live. Now, I never refuse vodka; if you don't mind, I'll just take a thimbleful! But this I simply can't drink--it turns my stomach. Samsón Sílych, don't you allow all this disorderly conduct; it's easy to insult a man, but it ain't nice. BOLSHÓV. Give it to him hot and heavy, Ustinya Naúmovna, hot and heavy! RISPOLÓZHENSKY _runs away from her._ USTÍNYA NAÚMOVNA. _[Placing the wine on the table]_ You shan't get away from me, you old son of a sea-cook! _[She pushes him into a corner and seizes him by the collar._ RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Police! _All burst out laughing._ ACT IV _A richly furnished chamber in the house of PODKHALYÚZIN_ SCENE I _OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA is sitting luxuriously near the window; she wears a silk waist, and a bonnet of the latest fashion. PODKHALYÚZIN, in a stylish frock coat, stands before the mirror. Behind him TISHKA is adjusting his master's clothes, and adding the finishing touches._ TISHKA. There now, it fits you to a T! PODKHALYÚZIN. Well, Tishka, do I look like a Frenchman? Ah! Step away and look at me! TISHKA. Like as two peas. PODKHALYÚZIN. Go along, you blockhead! Now you just look at me. _[He walks about the room]_ There now, Olimpiáda Samsónovna! And you wanted to marry an officer, ma'am! Ain't I a sport, though? I picked the smartest coat I could find and put it on. OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. But you don't know how to dance, Lázar Elizárych. PODKHALYÚZIN. What of it--won't I learn, though, and the raggiest ever! In the winter we're going to attend the Merchants' Assemblies. You just watch us, ma'am! I'm going to dance the polka. OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Now, Lázar Elizárych, you buy that carriage we saw at Arbatsky's. PODKHALYÚZIN. Of course, Olimpiáda Samsónovna, ma'am! Of course, by all means! OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. They've brought me a new cloak; you and I ought to go Friday to Sokolniki. PODKHALYÚZIN. Of course, most certainly we'll go, ma'am; and we'll drive in the park on Sundays. You see our carriage is worth a thousand rubles, and the horses a thousand, and the harness mounted with silver--just let 'em look! Tishka! My pipe. _[TISHKA goes out. PODKHALYÚZIN sits down beside OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA]_ Just so, ma'am, Olimpiáda Samsónovna; you just let 'em watch us. _[Silence.]_ OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. Well, why don't you kiss me, Lázar Elizárych?