RISPOLÓZHENSKY. My dear Agraféna Kondrátyevna, haven't you pickled your cucumbers yet? AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA. No, my dear. Cucumbers now, indeed! What do I care about them! But have you pickled yours? RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Certainly we have, my dear lady. Nowadays they're very dear; they say the frost got them. My dear Lázar Elizárych, how do you do? Is that vodka? I'll just take a thimbleful, Lázar Elizárych. AGRAFÉNA KONDRÁTYEVNA _goes out with_ OLIMPIÁDA SAMSÓNOVNA. PODKHALYÚZIN. Why is it you've favored us with a visit, may I inquire? RISPOLÓZHENSKY. He, he, he!--What a joker you are, Lázar Elizárych! Of course you know why. PODKHALYÚZIN. And what may that be, I should like to know, sir? RISPOLÓZHENSKY. For money, Lázar Elizárych, for money! Anybody else might come for something different, but I always come for money! PODKHALYÚZIN. You come mighty blamed often for money. RISPOLÓZHENSKY. How can I help it, Lázar Elizárych, when you give me only five rubles at a time? You see I have a family. PODKHALYÚZIN. You couldn't expect me to give you a hundred at a time! RISPOLÓZHENSKY. If you'd give it to me all at once, I shouldn't keep coming to you. PODKHALYÚZIN. You know about as much about business as a pig does about pineapples; and what's more, you take bribes. Why should I give you anything? RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Why, indeed!--You yourself promised to! PODKHALYÚZIN. I myself promised! Well, I've given you money--you've made your profit, and that'll do; it's time to turn over a new leaf. RISPOLÓZHENSKY. What do you mean by "time to turn over a new leaf"? You still owe me fifteen hundred rubles. PODKHALYÚZIN. Owe you! Owe you! As if you had some document! And what for? For your rascality! RISPOLÓZHENSKY. What do you mean by "rascality"? For my toil, not for my rascality! PODKHALYÚZIN. Your toil! RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Well, whatever it may be for, just give me the money, or a note for it. PODKHALYÚZIN. What, sir! A note! Not much, you come again when you're a little older. RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Do you want to swindle me with my little children? PODKHALYÚZIN. Swindle, indeed! Here, take five rubles more, and go to the devil. RISPOLÓZHENSKY. No, wait! You'll not get rid of me with that. TISHKA _enters_. PODKHALYÚZIN. What are you going to do to me? RISPOLÓZHENSKY. My tongue isn't bought up yet. PODKHALYÚZIN. Oh, perhaps you want to lick me, do you? RISPOLÓZHENSKY. No, not lick you, but to tell the whole thing to all respectable people. PODKHALYÚZIN. What are you going to talk about, you son of a sea-cook! And who's going to believe you? RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Who's going to believe me? PODKHALYÚZIN. Yes! Who's going to believe you? Just take a look at yourself! RISPOLÓZHENSKY. Who's going to believe me? Who's going to believe me? You'll see! Yes, you'll see! Holy saints, but what can I do? It's my death! He's swindling me, the robber, swindling me! No, you wait! You'll see! It's against the law to swindle! PODKHALYÚZIN. But what'll I see?