[_ANNIE comes from the house with suit-case, shawl-strap and hand-bag
on long strings. Marches straight to left of stage, makes a face at
the sun, marches to gate left rear and off._
ALICE
Eddy, go _after_ her! Heavens! Has _no_ one a mind? Go _after_ her!
EDDY
What’s the good of going after her without a clock?
ALICE
Well, get a clock! For heaven’s sake, get a clock! Eloise, get off the
grave of the alarm clock! [_ELOISE stands like a monument. To EDDY._]
Well, there are graves all around you. Dig something else up. No! You
call her back. I’ll--
[_Snatches spade, which is resting against sun-dial pedestal, begins
to dig. EDDY stands at back, calling._
EDDY
Annie! Oh, Annie! _Wait_, Annie!
ALICE
[_While frantically digging._] Say something to _interest_ her,
imbecile!
EDDY
[_Stick in one hand, straw hat in the other, making wild signals with
both._] Come home, Annie! Clock! Clock! [_Giving up that job and
throwing off his coat._] You interest her and I’ll dig.
[_They change places._
ALICE
She’s most to the bend! Eddy, don’t you know how to _dig_?
[_EDDY, who has been digging with speed and skill, produces the clock
with which ELOISE’S grandmother started housekeeping. Starts to
dash off with it._
ELOISE
[_Dully._] That clock doesn’t keep time. Annie hates it.
IAN
[_As if irritated by all this inefficiency._] What she wants is the
alarm clock. Get off the grave, Eloise.
[_He disinters alarm clock and with it runs after ANNIE. ALICE draws
a long breath and rubs her back. EDDY brings the clock he dug up
and sets it on the pedestal. Then he looks down at the disturbed
graves._
EDDY
Here’s a watch! [_Lifts it from the grave; holds it out to ELOISE; she
does not take it. He puts it on the pedestal beside the clock._] Here’s
another watch. [_Holds up IAN’S watch._] Quite a valuable piece of
ground.
[_Now is heard the smothered voice of a cuckoo._
ALICE
[_Jumping._] What’s that?
ELOISE
The cuckoo. I suppose it’s lonesome.
ALICE
[_Outraged._] Cuckoo! [_Pointing._] In that grave? The cuckoo we gave
you? [_ELOISE nods._] You buried our wedding present? [_ELOISE again
nods. EDDY and ALICE draw together in indignation._] Well, I must say,
the people who try to lead the right kind of lives _always_ do the
wrong thing. [_Stiffly._] I am not accustomed to having my wedding
presents put in graves. Will you please dig it up, Eddy? It will do
very well on the mantel in our library. And my back nearly broken
digging for your cook!
[_She holds her back. While EDDY is digging up the cuckoo, ANNIE
and IAN appear and march across from gate to house, ANNIE
triumphantly bearing her alarm clock, IAN--a captive at her chariot
wheels--following with suit-case, shawl strap and long strings of
bag around his wrist. A moment later IAN comes out of the house,
looks at each dug-up thing, stands by the grave of the sun-dial.
Enter MRS. STUBBS._
MRS. STUBBS
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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