Plays by Anton Chekhov, Second SeriesChekhov, Anton Pavlovich
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Plays by Anton Chekhov, Second Series
Chekhov, Anton Pavlovich
Chekhov, Anton Pavlovich, 1860-1904 -- Translations into English; Russian drama -- Translations into English
SHIPUCHIN. Nobody’s making hints! What an impossible character
yours is.... As I was saying, at home I can live like a tradesman, a
_parvenu_, and be up to any games I like, but here everything must be
_en grand_. This is a Bank! Here every detail must _imponiren_, so to
speak, and have a majestic appearance. [He picks up a paper from the
floor and throws it into the fireplace] My service to the Bank has been
just this--I’ve raised its reputation. A thing of immense importance is
tone! Immense, as my name’s Shipuchin! [Looks over KHIRIN] My dear man,
a deputation of shareholders may come here any moment, and there you are
in felt boots, wearing a scarf... in some absurdly coloured jacket....
You might have put on a frock-coat, or at any rate a dark jacket....
KHIRIN. My health matters more to me than your shareholders. I’ve an
inflammation all over me.
SHIPUCHIN. [Excitedly] But you will admit that it’s untidy! You spoil
the _ensemble_!
KHIRIN. If the deputation comes I can go and hide myself. It won’t
matter if... seven... one... seven... two... one... five... nought.
I don’t like untidiness myself.... Seven... two... nine... [Uses the
counting-frame] I can’t stand untidiness! It would have been wiser of
you not to have invited ladies to to-day’s anniversary dinner....
SHIPUCHIN. Oh, that’s nothing.
KHIRIN. I know that you’re going to have the hall filled with them
to-night to make a good show, but you look out, or they’ll spoil
everything. They cause all sorts of mischief and disorder.
SHIPUCHIN. On the contrary, feminine society elevates!
KHIRIN. Yes.... Your wife seems intelligent, but on the Monday of last
week she let something off that upset me for two days. In front of a
lot of people she suddenly asks: “Is it true that at our Bank my husband
bought up a lot of the shares of the Driazhsky-Priazhsky Bank, which
have been falling on exchange? My husband is so annoyed about it!” This
in front of people. Why do you tell them everything, I don’t understand.
Do you want them to get you into serious trouble?
SHIPUCHIN. Well, that’s enough, enough! All that’s too dull for an
anniversary. Which reminds me, by the way. [Looks at the time] My wife
ought to be here soon. I really ought to have gone to the station, to
meet the poor little thing, but there’s no time.... and I’m tired. I
must say I’m not glad of her! That is to say, I am glad, but I’d be
gladder if she only stayed another couple of days with her mother.
She’ll want me to spend the whole evening with her to-night, whereas
we have arranged a little excursion for ourselves.... [Shivers] Oh, my
nerves have already started dancing me about. They are so strained that
I think the very smallest trifle would be enough to make me break into
tears! No, I must be strong, as my name’s Shipuchin!
[Enter TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA SHIPUCHIN in a waterproof, with a little
travelling satchel slung across her shoulder.]
SHIPUCHIN. Ah! In the nick of time!
TATIANA ALEXEYEVNA. Darling!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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